Articles & Reviews

Supreme Self-Confidence Review: An Honest Look at Slade Shaw's Guide for Men and Women

Meta description: An honest review of Supreme Self-Confidence by Slade Shaw: what's inside, who it suits, who should skip it, the $47 price and the 60-day guarantee.

Disclosure: this page contains affiliate links. If you buy through them I may earn a commission, at no extra cost to you.

Most confidence advice is either too vague to use ("just believe in yourself") or too slick to trust. I wanted to know which side of that line Supreme Self-Confidence in Dating, Relationships & Social Situations falls on, so this review covers what it is, who it suits, who should skip it, what's inside, and what it costs.

What it is

Supreme Self-Confidence is a downloadable ebook by Slade Shaw, sold through Meet Your Sweet. There are two editions: one written for women and one for men. Both cover the same ground (personal confidence, social confidence, dating, relationships, sexual confidence and confidence at work) with examples aimed at the reader's side of the date. You pay once, download it from the members area, and get three bonuses with it.

It's a reading-and-doing guide. You won't find an app, a video course or coaching calls. If you like working through a book at your own pace and trying things in real life, the format suits you. If you need someone to hold you accountable, it may not.

Who it's for

The sales page opens with a list of moments, and they're a good test. You'll get the most from it if you recognise yourself in a few of these:

• You've seen someone across the room you'd love to meet and couldn't make yourself walk over.
• You lose your words, or talk too fast, around someone you have a crush on.
• You've felt you didn't deserve the person you were really attracted to, so you settled.
• You've become insecure or clingy in a relationship and watched it push the other person away.
• You get the same pounding heart before a speech or a meeting at work.

It also suits people dating again after a divorce or long relationship, because there's a section on bouncing back from a confidence crisis after a break-up, an affair, a job loss or a death.

Who it's not for

Be honest with yourself here. This is a self-help ebook. It isn't therapy, counselling or treatment, and it isn't a substitute for professional help if anxiety, low mood or past trauma is getting in the way of daily life. If that's you, talk to a doctor or a qualified professional first. (Note that the self-hypnosis bonus says it isn't suitable for people with a history of epilepsy or mental illness.)

It's also not for anyone hoping for lines or tricks to get someone to fall for them. The guide's angle is that you go into a relationship whole, looking for someone who complements your life, and it frames its dating advice as non-manipulative.

What's inside

The contents list is long. These are the parts that stood out to me as most useful.

Handling the worried thought

One of the first ideas is that telling yourself "there's nothing to worry about, don't be so silly" can make fear worse. The guide shows what to do with a worried or fearful thought instead, and gives a simple technique for quieting your mind when it won't settle. There's also a section on stopping repetitive negative self-talk and standing up to your inner critic.

The foundations

Slade Shaw sets out the 6 challenges to personal confidence and how each one shows up, along with ineffective methods people try that can make confidence worse. There are case studies of 6 people who raised their confidence, a SWOT exercise for sizing up your own strengths and weak spots, and sections on making decisions, setting goals and handling stress.

Social confidence and conversation

This is the practical heart of the book. It explains what shyness is and isn't and how others perceive shy people, then shows you how to start a conversation with someone you've never met, read non-verbal signals, and build your own "backup" set of stories and topics so you always have something to talk about. There's a 5-step exercise for conversation skills, sections on flirting and on making the date, and advice on the attitude to take when you're caught in an embarrassing moment.

Relationships

You'll find sections on needy or clingy signals that people give off without realising, trust, letting go of past relationship experiences, being as happy single as you are in a relationship, and a 3-step method for taking an already good relationship further. The women's edition also covers three common strategies for getting a man to commit that tend to backfire, with non-manipulative alternatives.

Work

A section many dating guides skip: confidence at work, a 4-step plan for high-pressure moments like giving a speech, a 4-step plan for responding to criticism, and how to negotiate a salary or a pay rise.

The bonuses

• How To Achieve Mastery of Your Inner Game: an audio discussion with a dating expert (Scot McKay in the women's edition, Marni Kinrys in the men's).
• Master Your Confidence Through Overcoming Shyness: a self-hypnosis audio track. Don't listen while driving.
• A teasing guide: Hot Relationships for women, Tactical Teasing for men, both about playfulness and humour.

Price and guarantee

It's a single payment of $47 through ClickBank, with instant access. It's covered by a 60-day money-back guarantee: if you aren't satisfied for any reason, you email Meet Your Sweet support within 60 days of purchase for a full refund.

What I'd change

The sales page is written in an old-school, high-energy style with a lot of capital letters, and the guide is long. Some readers will want to skim. My advice is to start with the sections on the worried thought and on conversation, try one idea on your next night out, and come back for the rest.

Verdict

If nerves are the thing standing between you and the conversations, dates and relationships you want, Supreme Self-Confidence gives you a lot of practical material for $47, and the 60-day guarantee means you can read it and decide. Pick the edition that matches you:

See Supreme Self-Confidence and choose your edition

Results depend on what you put into it, and no book can promise how another person will respond. What it can do is help you show up as yourself. If that's what's missing, have a look at the full contents here.

How to Start a Conversation When Your Nerves Take Over: 7 Things That Help

Meta description: Freeze when someone you like walks over? Seven practical ways to start a conversation when nerves kick in, from preparing stories to handling a blush.

Disclosure: this page contains affiliate links. If you buy through them I may earn a commission, at no extra cost to you.

You've noticed someone you'd like to meet. Your pulse picks up, your mouth goes dry, and a voice in your head lists every way it could go wrong. Ten minutes later you're still holding the same drink and they're talking to someone else.

If that's familiar, you're far from alone, and the good news is that starting a conversation is a skill. Here are seven things that make it easier, several of them drawn from Slade Shaw's guide Supreme Self-Confidence in Dating, Relationships & Social Situations.

1. Stop telling yourself not to be silly

The usual move is to push the nerves down: "There's nothing to worry about, don't be so silly." Shaw's guide makes the point that trying to suppress a fear like this can make it worse. Try noticing the feeling instead. "I'm nervous because I like the look of this person" is a perfectly reasonable thought, and naming it takes away some of its weight.

2. Remember how shyness looks from the outside

Here's something that changes the whole picture. When you hang back, other people often read it as disinterest. They feel your discomfort and assume you've decided you don't like them. Knowing this makes a hello feel less like a risk and more like a kindness: you're clearing up a misunderstanding before it starts.

3. Prepare your stories before you go out

People who always seem to have something to say have usually said it before. Before your next evening out, jot down three short stories about yourself (a funny thing that happened at work, a trip that went sideways, a hobby you're into) and two topics you'd enjoy talking about. Shaw calls this a "backup" set, and it means a silence never feels like a cliff edge.

4. Open with what's in front of you

You don't need a clever line. A comment about the place, the music, the queue or the food works because the other person can answer it easily. Then ask a question that needs more than a yes or no. "How do you know the host?" will go further than "Good party?"

5. Watch the signals, not your script

Once you're talking, your attention belongs on the other person. Are they turned towards you? Asking questions back? Smiling? Reading these non-verbal signals tells you whether to keep going or wrap up warmly, and it pulls your focus away from your own nerves.

6. Treat the blush as part of the evening

You will fumble a word at some point. Everyone does. The attitude you take in that moment matters more than the moment itself. A smile and a light "I'm a bit nervous, you're easy to talk to" is endearing, and the guide argues that handling an embarrassing moment with good grace can make a date more fun.

7. Use the fear of rejection as information

Fear of rejection usually means you care about the outcome, which means this person matters to you. That's a reason to speak, not a reason to stay put. If it goes nowhere, you've had a two-minute chat and lost nothing. If it goes somewhere, you'll be glad you walked over.

Put it together on your next night out

You don't need to use all seven at once. Pick one for your next evening out. If you tend to go blank, write your three stories on the bus and run through them once. If the inner voice is the problem, notice it, name it and let it sit there while you walk over anyway. If you worry about how you come across, remind yourself that standing in the corner already sends a message, and usually the wrong one.

Afterwards, give yourself credit for trying, whatever happened. Confidence grows from small attempts that you count as wins, and it shrinks when you only replay the moments that went wrong. A short hello that went nowhere is still practice, and practice is what makes the next one easier.

When you want more than seven tips

Tips get you through one evening. If nerves show up in most of your dating and social life, you may want something more complete. Supreme Self-Confidence has separate editions for women and men and goes much further than this article: what shyness is and isn't, a 5-step exercise for conversation skills, flirting and making the date, needy signals you might be giving off, handling criticism, bouncing back after a break-up, and confidence at work.

It's a downloadable ebook with three bonuses (an inner-game audio discussion with a dating expert, a self-hypnosis audio on shyness and a short guide to playful teasing). It costs a one-time $47 and comes with a 60-day money-back guarantee. It's a self-help guide, not therapy, so if nerves feel overwhelming in everyday life, a doctor or qualified professional is the right first call.

If the seven ideas above helped, you can see the full contents of Supreme Self-Confidence here.