Everybody has sticking points, whether it's work, relationships or life in general. But that's fine and dandy because the learning process is what makes us better women.
Perhaps you're struggling with certain behaviors or fears that might be keeping you from making the most out of your love life. Not to worry though; author Mirabelle Summers has created the ultimate game-free guide on how to do just THAT:
http://www.meetysweet.com/attractmen/
The "Get A Great Guy Guide" is just the thing you need to achieve the breakthrough that you've been waiting for. With its sensible, no-nonsense and down-to-earth advice for the sassy, modern girl, finding AND holding on to a quality man will be a cinch!
Now then - one of the most common stumbling blocks to more romance in a woman's life is a simple lack of conversational know-now. The good news is that this can be LEARNED and immediately applied in your everyday life!
Especially while you're face-to-face with a potential lover!
Oftentimes the problem is that some well-meaning girls overlook the importance of having the right communication style. It's not that they WANT to be boring; they're merely unaware of how to hold a conversation.
No sensible gal is going to get up in the morning and tell herself, "I wonder how I'm gonna BORE the socks off of that cute stranger I'm going run into at the coffee shop today?"
If you want to become a better conversationalist, it's important to consider if you've grown accustomed to certain patterns of speech that are actually counterproductive. Sometimes, you need to step back and ask if you've fallen into certain habits which you've numbed yourself to over time.
So the first step towards any form of improvement is SELF-AWARENESS. Think about the way you normally carry a conversation with a guy and ask yourself if your style could use some polishing.
Of course, I don't want you to start beating yourself up if you feel that the way you talk to men isn't as attractive as you might want it to be. Like I said earlier, there's always room for improvement, and it's definitely a good thing to know EXACTLY which areas can be improved.
With that said, I want you to go over the following tip you can use to enhance your communication style:
It may sound like the simplest thing in the world to say, but the fact is lots of perfectly adorable women have a hard time doing this.
It's mainly because they only have a VAGUE idea of what rapport is, so naturally you can't create something you can't really put a pin on!
So let's clear up the fog surrounding this topic and identify what it is exactly. In a nutshell, having rapport is about having a CONNECTION with someone.
You know how you hook up your iPod or mobile phone to your computer, and they suddenly have this mutual understanding? It's kind of like that, but on a DEEPER level.
Let me give you a clearer picture: if you were at a party packed with all manner of gorgeous, articulate and friendly men, which one of them are you likely to REALLY fall for?
Since they're all visually and mentally appealing, you might have a hard time figuring out which guy suits you. Chances are the one who naturally understands you will be the man you'd want to date.
Why is that? Well, doesn't it feel just GREAT when a person instinctively senses where you're coming from?
I'm sure you've met at least one person in your life who you inexplicably feel drawn to. That's because that person seems to perfectly understand and echo back your own opinions or feelings.
That sense of being connected is what rapport is all about. Fortunately, it's actually not hard at all to do this in your daily conversations.
The first thing to keep in mind is that you need to be on the 'same page' as the person you're talking to. There are easy ways to do this.
For example, keep an ear out for specific concepts or values that are personally close to the person you're in a conversation with. If he brings up that it's important to him to have some quiet time everyday, store that away for future reference.
Later on you can echo back that same concept by telling him about how YOU like to spend your alone time: 'At the end of the day I like to spend an hour or so curling up with a good book and a nice warm cup of chamomile tea. It really helps decompress after a crazy day, you know what I mean?'
Step back and watch his eyes light up like a Christmas tree! By taking something close to his heart and giving it back to him in a genuine way, your words will make quite the IMPACT on him.
So, rapport really has to do a lot with speaking the same 'language'. Now of course, I don't mean you have to start mimicking everything he's saying like a little parrot, but rather do it in an EMOTIONAL sense.
Discovering and talking about the values that resonate with you BOTH is a way to speak the same language.
When you think about it, we often adapt our modes of speech depending on the context we're in.
For example, you wouldn't talk to your friends, family, colleagues, or elders in the same EXACT way would you?
So don't think that you're being a phony by making an effort to speak in the same way that he does. You're simply getting into the practice of communicating in a way that's APPROPRIATE to the situation.
And when it comes to chatting up gorgeous guys, a meeting of the minds is best done through rapport-building speech patterns!
Don't get me wrong, the kinds of guys who are worth your time are into women of SUBSTANCE. And certainly, this next conversational tip is not about acting air-headed or ditzy.
All I'm advising you do is keep your sexy brain from going into overdrive! A common mistake that intelligent women often commit is to think too much about certain things.
They get so caught up in their own world of thoughts that they'll come off as aloof or distracted, when in reality they're just petrified from FEAR of not knowing what to say next.
If you don't want your brain from stalling on you, then you have to quiet your thoughts and shut out the nagging distractions in your pretty little noggin.
The attraction-killing thoughts I'm talking about are those coming from the inner critic trying to sabotage your conversation. Sometimes, we make the mistake of mentally scolding ourselves after saying something that felt out of place or unfunny.
Other times, we're lost in a maze of thoughts on what to say next or get bogged down in a swamp of self-consciousness.
When you feel your brain going in this direction, acknowledge what's going on and DROP these mental distractions.
There's a handy little trick you can do in case your attention is drifting off to la-la land: instead of obsessing about how you look in his eyes or what he might be thinking, simply divert your attention to HIM.
It's a girl's best defense against looking aloof or detached from the conversation (or from this plane of reality for that matter!). So remember to shut off this part of your brain, and you'll do just fine.
On another note however, sometimes it's the guy you're talking to that's feeling self-conscious. If that's the case, then don't act or talk in any way that might give away you're AWARE of it.
Just play it cool and don't dwell on the vibe he's giving off. It'll only make things more awkward if you let his state affect your own.
Maybe you're still feeling each other out and you're trying to get a handle on how to connect to this hunk of a guy. But the awkward flow of your conversation is creating a major interference in your connection so you're having a hard time 'broadcasting' your signal.
Fear not, friend! The quickest way to clear up all that 'static' is by creating a private joke which you can share with him. When you both have some knee-slapping ground to start on, this accelerates the rapport-building process.
My long-time friend Marcus has a great story to illustrate my point. He says:
"One of my first jobs was a freelance product writer for all sorts of health merchandise. During one assignment I was talking with this guy who was telling me about the benefits of a sports bracelet that supposedly reduces muscular fatigue. I had to put on the bracelet and pretended how less tense my arm felt as I was stretching it. Monique, his pretty sales assistant, was visibly chuckling at how funny I looked during the product demo (though she tried her best to hide it)."
Marcus was then able to use this funny incident as an inside joke when he started chatting up Monqiue. To her delight, he referred to the silly arm-stretching debacle several times during their conversation.
To his benefit, Monique was game enough to tease him about it when they eventually started dating. The moral of the story here is that when used properly, humor serves as a great bridge between two people.
Heck, any doctor knows about the therapeutic effect of laughter. One way to bring on the charm is to put your man on a natural high by cracking a joke or making a witty comment!
Making people laugh will make people (cute guys included) want to be around you to get a dose of your feel-good charisma.
Of course, there's a big difference between laughing at a joke and MAKING one. However, appearing to be effortless at humor isn't as hard as you might think.
Don't assume you need to transform yourself into a standup comic at the drop of a hat.
Generally, a good punch line is the result of properly setting up the joke beforehand. If you need to explain the punch line after delivering it, it means you didn't build enough suspense first.
(Think about how some characters on TV bumble a perfectly good joke by explaining too much and adding a "get it, get it?" at the end.)
A good way to build up a joke is by keeping a relatively straight face and suppressing any snickers before dropping the punch line on him. Otherwise there won't be any escalation.
That's what comedic timing is all about: buttering up the audience and then BAM, you get the drop on them with a well-placed punch line!
Notice how comedians like Conan O'Brien or Tina Fey churn out the funnies. They like to talk about a mundane news item (the set-up) and then making a zany comment about it (the payoff).
As an aside, avoid making any pop culture references that might alienate or confuse the person you're talking to. It's good to be mindful of the particular person in front of you so he can better relate to your "material".
However, don't worry about making leaps and bounds in this particular area of conversation. Try adapting these habits of humor little by little into your speech.
Once you hit your stride and finally struck a guy's funny bone, you'll notice how easier it is to keep him laughing with a follow-up joke!
One last way to be funny without overdoing it is by doing the "pretend seriousness" routine. A little lighthearted irony goes a long way with certain folks!
Let's pretend that your friend introduced you to this incredibly cute guy who happens to be just into music as you are. So halfway through the conversation he confesses to not having heard about a certain band you absolutely adore.
Take advantage of this opportunity by *playfully* retorting, "Tell me you're kidding. Otherwise, I'm gonna have to drag you to my place and make you listen to my (name of band) records until you see the light. Seriously!"
Admittedly, this approach might not work on everyone, but if he seems like the guy who's game enough to go along with the fun, then give it a shot!
Some women might think that listening is just a simple matter of hearing what the other person is telling them. Truth is, this basic skill we've been taught to use over the years is often taken for granted.
Sometimes, we find ourselves zoning out a bit (refer to tip # 2) when we should be PAY ATTENTION in the full sense of the verb. A typical mistake is to listen on a superficial level and merely use the time the guy is talking to think of something to say.
This might sound like common sense, but I have this to share: you'd have a better chance of saying something worthwhile if you truly listened to what the other person just said.
I've told countless friends and colleagues that your genuine attention is a very powerful tool for conversational success! Really listening to his jokes and stories is a simple but effective way to make him feel good about himself.
And what red-blooded man wouldn't want to be around a sassy girl that he can associate his GOOD FEELINGS with?
The gift of showing real interest is the direct path to greater rapport in ANY sort of conversation you're in. Although our general interest here is to attract men through a good chat, we also have to consider the big picture here.
An attractive woman is someone who can have a great conversation with just about anybody. When you have a POSITIVE attitude towards the rest of humankind, it's an indication of how you'd be on a date.
...or as a girlfriend.
If you're there to talk with ANYONE purely for the pleasure of their company... and NOT because you want their approval... then that sincerity will naturally show.
People (hunks included) just tend you like more when you want to hang out with them with NO strings attached.
So what I'm saying here is that you shouldn't just limit your awesome conversational skills to men alone. Find an opportunity to flex your social muscles and chat up a storm with the next person you run into!
It doesn't matter if it's the nice old lady at the library, the friendly cashier at your favorite coffee place, or your fellow students at yoga class. Every person out there offers a chance for you to become a more sociable person.
Trust me, this mindset is the sure-fire path to becoming drop-dead gorgeous in the long run! What have you got to lose after all?
And part of developing the right mindset is by expanding your knowledge and beliefs about dating, courtesy of Meet Your Sweet's "Get a Great Guy Guide."
http://www.meetysweet.com/attractmen
When you think about it, the cost of failure is pretty much ZERO, so get out there and work it!
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This article comes to you courtesy of www.meetysweet.com
If you are serious about changing your love life success, the first step on your journey of self discovery needs to be with Meet Your Sweet's "Get a Great Guy Guide."
If you want genuine men, and not just any man, let Mirabelle Summers and the team challenge your beliefs about love and attraction, and show you the way to become a seduction success story.
http://www.meetysweet.com/attractmen
No games. No scripted lines. Real life dating advice for real women!
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Have you ever found yourself making the same mistake over and over simply because you didn't know any better at the time?
We're all human's from time to time we unintentionally make the occasional blunder due to a bunch of mistaken assumptions running in the back of our mind.
These false beliefs keep us blissfully unaware that our ill-informed decisions will actually lead us to disaster!
And you know what? This isn't a bad thing in itself because learning from our mistakes adds to our body of knowledge. However, wouldn't you want to AVOID making these boo-boos if you COULD?
This is why you need to UNLEARN any incorrect notions that could cloud your better judgment.
Sometimes, it just takes another pair of eyes to identify the mindsets that could drive you towards perfectly preventable mistakes. Gain some fresh insight by going here:
http://www.meetysweet.com/attractmen/
How many times have you gotten into a situation that yielded bad results because you had the wrong ideas in mind?
Certain perceptions of men can mess up your chances of having a great relationship with them. When we assume given things about the opposite sex, your actions could PREVENT the relationship from going in a healthy direction.
Thus, let's take a look at a couple of the most common myths about men which you need to steer clear of:
Actually, this wouldn't be a problem if the term "low maintenance" wasn't misconstrued in the first place. Oftentimes, when some misguided women hear this adjective, they equate it to having no opinion of their own and being a complete PUSHOVER.
This attitude reminds me of the 1950's housewife archetype often portrayed in TV sitcoms of the same era.
You know what I'm talking about: Sugary-sweet on the outside, but brimming with unspoken emotions on the inside.
She's the one who's afraid to mess up a perfectly good relationship by speaking up too much. This is the kind of girl who has regrettably shut off her ability to express her feelings in a healthy way.
Sadly, this glaring misconception is unconsciously driving many women to behave in a very NEEDY way. In the back of their minds, they take the idea of being low-maintenance to such an EXTREME that they've become a mere shadow of their former selves.
Being 'low maintenance' in the truest sense of the word is defined by REALISTIC qualities.
This is a well-adjusted, reasonable person who doesn't throw a fit when her partner unwittingly makes the occasional offhand remark.
(And I emphasize 'OCCASIONAL', as opposed to 'habitually', but anyway')
This is also the kind of girl who can properly manage her feelings MOST of the time and keeps emotional meltdowns to a reasonable minimum. When it comes to mood swings, low maintenance women don't often have these and only under the most stressful of circumstances.
All in all, this is an ideal picture of what low maintenance is all about.
Therefore, it's NOT about being so laid-back to the point where you're frazzled and out of breath from trying to please a guy's every whim'
'or even TOLERATE selfishness.
And being low maintenance is definitely a far cry from transforming into a disturbingly submissive version of yourself.
Remember, there's a difference between a cool girl that doesn't get upset over the little things'
'and the emotional SLAVE who doesn't have any purpose aside from sacrificing her dignity and independence in the name of 'love'.
The mentality you should have is that a relationship is NOT the only thing you have going for you.
If you would make a map of your life right now, would you say it's dominated by huge chunks of land exclusively reserved for a boyfriend?
Or does this map have equally allocated areas meant for your family, friends, career and hobbies?
Even though we're always talking about how to get into a good, healthy relationship, you have to understand that this is only ONE PART of your multi-faceted self.
The SUM of your pursuits in life defines who you are.
If you build your universe around whether you're single or not, your resulting actions will create a very unattractive impression of neediness.
You wouldn't want anyone to believe that having a boyfriend is the ONLY thing that motivates you in life, right? You know you're TOO GOOD to act like that.
Don't get me wrong ' it's WONDERFUL to have a partner who adores and respects you. That crazy rush you feel when you fall in love can greatly inspire you do great things in the other areas of your life.
However, my point is that you should still retain a good sense of PERSPECTIVE when you *do* get into a relationship. What that means is that you'd be just as fine even if you didn't have a boyfriend at the moment.
Your life was just as fine before you met him, and you can certainly leave if you're not being treated the way you should be.
Of course, I don't mean this in an arrogant way nor am I suggesting that our partners should be the pushovers instead!
All I'm saying is that you shouldn't be scared to leave the comfort zone of your relationship if it isn't helping your personal growth.
Also, in no way should you cover up your true feelings by waiving your right to SPEAK UP if you need to (i.e. when the terms are unfavorable).
A good relationship is always a TWO-WAY street, so don't let the low-maintenance myth (or rather, misconception) tell you otherwise.
The other common trap women fall into is the assumption that those butterfly-in-the-stomach feelings you first get when you meet someone will remain CONSTANT in the relationship.
However, this just isn't going to happen. Even happily married couples who've been together for decades know that their initial infatuation for each other evolved into a deeper and more MATURE sense of loving.
This kind of love goes beyond the initial rush that all new couples go through. This is the love that's weathered countless emotional storms, power struggles and other CHALLENGES.
The end result is a rock-solid relationship that doesn't constantly require you to feel the heart-quickening rush found in infatuation.
But there's no reason to panic over this fact of life. You shouldn't be afraid of outgrowing this primary stage in your relationship since better things are headed your way.
Over time, the falling in love stage will eventually be replaced by something more powerful in the long run. It's just that you're going to go through a series of trials as a couple before you get there.
Don't buy into the myth that loving your guy as you do now will be enough to get you through the years. Remember that neither of you are perfect; somewhere along the way, your 'little' differences are going to catch up to you.
(I've heard of couples breaking up over their brand of toothpaste, but hopefully your own relationship won't go to that extreme!)
I'll be honest with you here: you're going to FIGHT tooth and nail over things like this, and you're going to wake up and smell the coffee sooner or later. But power struggles are NORMAL after the familiarity settles in.
If you can accept the reality that love will inevitably undergo a transformation over time, then you'll have no reason to worry about the growing pains in your relationship.
Otherwise, insisting that everything will run smoothly or take care of itself will BLIND you to speedbumps in the future.
Of course, I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy the moment because being HAPPY is the point of having a relationship, right?
You just have to be aware that things will change eventually. However, you can stay happy as long as you're cool with having to deal with the reality check phase in due time.
(No need to worry your pretty little self about stuff UNTIL you have to!)
All in all, finding happiness in a man's arms is best done by keeping a REALISTIC perspective no matter how head over heels you may feel at a given moment.
There are a lot of impractical beliefs and notions that we women are unnecessarily exposed to in these modern times. Like it or not, picking up unrealistic perceptions of love and dating is just a TV show or DVD rental away.
In this confusing sea of misinformation, a sassy girl definitely needs to keep her wits afloat!
For the most part, whatever we read in books or see onscreen are distilled versions of life at best. It doesn't necessarily reflect what happens in REAL situations!
So we can't project unrealistic fantasies onto real life and NOT expect to run into problems!
The real world naturally includes the complexities of human behavior. You need to keep this in mind when considering what men want from us and what we should expect from them.
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This article comes to you courtesy of www.meetysweet.com
If you are serious about changing your love life success, the first step on your journey of self discovery needs to be with Meet Your Sweet's Get a Guy Guide.
If you want genuine men, and not just any man, let Mirabelle Summers and the team challenge your beliefs about love and attraction, and show you the way to become a seduction success story.
http://www.meetysweet.com/attractmen
No games. No scripted lines. Real life dating advice for real women!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes, the best opportunity to be better at attracting men is lying right under our noses. Everyday, life is full of little chances that will help us become more of a 'people person', which of course leads to GREATER irresistibility!
Even the most mundane of situations present a way for you to become better at conversing with folks of all shapes and sizes (along with quality men!). Starting today, all you need to do is keep an eye out for chances to develop your conversational skills and self-confidence in general.
Understandably, women who haven't developed the habit of getting there and mingling with other people won't be used to kicking off a great conversation. In other words, the thought of chatting with strangers is unappealing to these girls ' or even downright SCARY.
All it really takes are the right ideas which will help enforce the habit of chatting up all sorts of folks. So for today, THIS is exactly what we're going discover.
Of course, if you would like the shortcut to your seduction success, you can check out Meet Your Sweet's 'Get a Guy Guide:'
http://www.meetysweet.com/attractmen/
Now, I'd like to familiarize you with the most basic aspects of being a friendlier, more approachable version of yourself in order to make men (and other folks in general) naturally responsive to you.
This is where the importance of FLIRTING comes in.
You might think that flirting is about making raunchy innuendo. Perhaps your idea of being a good flirt has to do with lacing your conversation with sexual implications and the like.
Well, this is actually just a misconception that's given the fine art of flirting a bad rap these days. The funny truth is that you can flirt with just about any stranger out there, whether he's a guy OR a girl!
Before you get all confused with my last statement, let me clear up what flirting is all about. It's the ability to elicit GOOD FEELINGS within a person, regardless of gender.
Basically, the point of flirting is a basic desire to spread feel-good vibes among the people that you meet WITHOUT wanting anything in return (like a date or romantic attention!).
Although your intentions for flirting are to simply have fun with everyone, the ironic twist is that you'll also happen to attract guys in the process!
When you come across as a lady who has a natural tendency to make EVERYONE around her FEEL GREAT, then that's what good flirting is all about!
If you're able to associate your presence with positive emotions, it would make sense for people to want to be around you. With that said, how does a girl go about working on her flirtation skills?
Before you start handing out words of praise like they were going out of style tomorrow, you need to have a CLEAR idea of what this is all about.
Like what I said about sincerity earlier, you want to make people feel good about themselves with no ulterior motive. Anyone would be turned off by someone who was obviously just sucking up to him or her.
It's easy to feel this way if the person got a whiff of phoniness from a compliment. For instance, people can tell if you're firing off a flattering remark with NO THOUGHT at all'
'whereas EARNESTLY observing something important to the person and praising it accordingly will deeply resonate within him or her!
Although this seems like a doozy to pull off, it's actually not as hard as it sounds. A smart girl like you just needs to put her powers of observation to good use!
As I mentioned at the start of this newsletter, all you have to do is look out for things 'hidden' in plain sight. Greater AWARENESS is vital in situations like these, so keep your eyes peeled for things to compliment people on!
The next time you run into someone with whom you can talk to for a bit, try your hand at making him/her feel good with some well-placed words of praise.
Don't feel like they have to like you because of it, what's important is that you simply felt like saying something nice for the heck of it. No more, no less!
For instance, if that new guy sitting next to your cubicle at work has a cool screensaver from the movie 'Avatar' on his monitor, make a brief but meaningful comment if the situation allows it.
Saying something like 'Hey, that's a sweet screensaver ' I guess you like the movie even more than I did!'
This is a great way to establish some RAPPORT and VALIDATE his personal interests.
Pretty soon, you might be adding more fuel to the fire by saying 'I love how the film gave the expression 'walking in someone else's shoes' a new meaning!'
And who knows, it may serve as a starting point for a longer conversation! In this example, all you wanted to do was to take notice of something you HONESTLY liked and gave him props for it.
Sometimes, taking the initiative to pay a sincere compliment goes a long way!
Now that we've established that flirting is meant to make others feel good, you also need to know about another important guideline. You can't generate those things within someone if you don't feel good about yourself to begin with!
Anyone with an infectiously pleasant personality knows that having that a positive attitude begets the same vibe from the people around them. That's why you need to be 'in the zone' when you're mingling with the folks you run into.
You have to remember that your level of energy must be just as high (if not higher) than the person you're talking to. Otherwise, your flirting efforts will be a lost cause.
But that doesn't mean you have to transform into a hyperactive version of yourself ' you just have to go by a few important pointers to make sure that you're always in top form!
For instance, thinking too much is one of the biggest positive attitude-killers that will keep you from being at your most flirtatious. Some women have a tendency to let the inner chatter in their heads DISTRACT them.
I'm sure anyone at some point in their social lives has made the mistake of trying TOO HARD to sound witty or clever. The end result of this habit is that you end up thinking of what to say next without bothering to LISTEN to the person in front of you.
Why pressure yourself and act like your life depended on it? It doesn't work that way!
This line of thinking defeats the very purpose of flirting, which is to establish rapport by being playful, relaxed and fun-loving. Driving yourself mad with thoughts like 'I hope this guy likes me' will only keep you from giving him your full attention (which is a very ATTRACTIVE thing to do!).
So do yourself a favor and just keep your ears peeled to the conversation. That's the best way to keep the fun going!
Let me give you an example. Pretend that the guy you're talking to just told you about a great experience he had camping out with his buddies by the lake over the weekend.
Maybe he mentioned that he got a kick out of momentarily leaving his hectic city life behind and relaxing in the wilderness. Paying ATTENTION to a key point such as this would then allow you to share some of your own thoughts to complement his.
Then you can say something in a similar train of thought: 'Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun! You know, sometimes I need a little peace and quiet myself when the week gets crazy'so every now and then I do my own thing by chilling out at home, turn up my Zen music and curl up with a good book!'
Bingo! Not only did you indirectly praise his interests, you've also created some excellent common ground between you two!
And you weren't even trying to impress him by topping his story; all you really did was to take something he finds important and give it right back at him!
To recap: DON'T psych yourself out by thinking that a failed attempt at flirting is going to be the death of you!
Relax into the moment and keep a cool head about yourself. What should a sassy girl like you be afraid of anyway?
Flirting is a playful way of testing the waters with a guy. A lighthearted verbal exchange is meant to let you know if your personalities are going to mesh well.
If not, it's certainly NOT any great loss on your part so there's nothing to be freaked out about!
As far as the big picture is concerned, taking these little hiccups in stride by staying POSITIVE is actually an attractive trait to have. More importantly, the motivation for flirting is to simply share your joy for living with others!
And that's a lot easier to do than wanting people to like you. Go for an impression that tells people, 'I'm having FUN talking with you' instead of something off-putting like 'Won't you please like me?'
If you want to keep the things fun, DON'T let your mind wander into thoughts about the OUTCOME of your conversation.
What happens AFTER the conversation is irrelevant. The important thing is that you're living IN THE MOMENT, totally focused on the person you're chatting with.
Did he laugh at your jokes? Great! Did he give you the cold shoulder? Great!
See, it doesn't matter because this doesn't have any bearing on who you are as a woman. The great thing about these experiences is that you LEARN from your accomplishments (or mistakes) every time!
So the next time you head out of the house, don't forget to ditch the negative self-talk and leave your unreasonably harsh inner critic at the door!
The general idea is to open up to the rest of humanity out there and welcome the chances that come your way.
The broad spectrum of your cheerful personality is going affect everyone around you: your family, friends, colleagues'and of course, the potential Mr. Right's waiting to meet you!
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This article comes to you courtesy of www.meetysweet.com
If you are serious about changing your love life success, the first step on your journey of self discovery needs to be with Meet Your Sweet's 'Get a Guy Guide.'
If you want genuine men, and not just any man, let Mirabelle Summers and the team challenge your beliefs about love and attraction, and show you the way to become a seduction success story.
http://www.meetysweet.com/attractmen
No games. No scripted lines. Real life dating advice for real women!
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How would YOU like to give EVERYONE you meet ' friends, colleagues, potential boyfriends ' a first impression they'll never forget?
Wouldn't it be great to naturally win just about anyone over because of your awesome personality? Well, don't pay any mind to your inner naysayer'these qualities are already in you, and NOW is the best time to bring them out!
This plain truth eludes a lot of women because it's one of those 'right-under-your-nose' kind of things. Well, it's high time you played up the best version of yourself and share it with the rest of the world!
It all starts here:
http://www.meetysweet.com/attractmen/
That's right, all you need is the proper guidance to bring out the ATTRACTIVE and IRRESISTIBLE person that you've always wanted to be!
For the meantime however, I'd like to give you some pointers on how to jumpstart the inner transformation process TODAY.
Like I said, wouldn't it be just peachy to leave folks no choice BUT to really dig you? The thing about making a great first impression is that those who are good at it DON'T put too much thought about it.
They don't think'they just DO. In my experience, the single greatest obstacle to pulling this off is getting lost in your own head and trying to size up the situation too much.
You know what I mean: shutting out the person you're talking to (along with the rest of the world) as your brain works overtime to second-guess everything you do!
'Did I laugh too loud?'
'Is there something in my teeth?'
'Was I talking too fast?'
'Sheesh, my joke sure sounded lame!'
'I seem too eager'good luck hearing from him again!'
These kinds of thoughts are POISON to your attractiveness. Being deathly afraid of being less than perfect is going to make you TENSE.
And as you know, TENSE equals UNATTRACTIVE.
So, to put it succinctly: RELAX.
Don't let your nagging thoughts and doubts cloud your thinking. Even if your emotions seem like chaos, you can 'fake it 'til you make it', as some like to say.
Let me clarify what that means: it ISN'T about putting up a PHONY personality that doesn't really speak of who you really are. On the contrary, it's a matter of *temporarily* putting up a semblance of being calm and collected.
Nothing more, nothing less.
At first, acting cool as a cucumber may feel like putting on a new set of clothes that feels stiff and awkward at first. However, this feeling will go away the longer you 'wear' this attitude of confidence.
In the meantime, you'll just have to put up with this new feeling so that your anxiety won't get it the way of others seeing the REAL YOU.
In due time, you'll eventually outgrow it and being relaxed WILL become a natural part of you!
But I'm getting ahead of myself here. What are the things you should do to make people feel you're relaxed and in control?
First of all, your body's subtle visual cues will tip them off on what you're feeling. Body language goes a long way in generating the aura you're aiming for.
So, what you can do is discreetly OBSERVE your confident friends or other people you're often with. Do you notice how laid-back their posture is?
Maybe you'll see the way their feet are apart at just the right distance. Not too close, but not too far. There's something about standing in a way that says you're not about to apologize for the space you're occupying'.
'but at the same time, NOT being smug about it.
A good way to exude confidence is by standing slightly on one leg with your back propped up just enough to avoid slouching. At the same time, you don't want to be too upright like a solider either!
Also, resist the temptation to give away your nervous energy by fiddling with the straw in your drink or that handbag you may have on you. You'll need a place to tuck away those restless hands, but keeping your arms crossed isn't a good idea (as it's a very UNWELCOMING gesture!).
Instead, simply rest your hands on a stationary spot. If you're sitting for instance, one hand could be resting on the table (if you're sitting) while your other palm is flat your knee.
Feel free to mix and match the placing of your digits as long as they'll serve to make you look like at ease.
Next on your to-do list: make proper eye contact.
My general rule of thumb here is to look away and occasionally make quick, casual glances at your conversational partner as you speak. Then, hold a more consistent gaze when it's their turn to talk.
This is a great way to make a connection because being able to visually communicate with someone ensures that there's a healthy amount of rapport going on. This aspect of self-confidence is often glossed over since some folks don't realize how vital this is.
In general, this style of eye contact is flattering as your gaze implicitly tells them you're listening to them. Giving someone your attention in this manner is a subtle way to express interest and joy to be in their company.
As women, we're fortunate that prolonged eye-to-eye communication is well-received received by men AND fellow girls. When we make eye contact, it's generally perceived as a friendly gesture, so you can use this to your advantage!
When you think about it, looking away too much while a person is talking might send the wrong message. It could look like you're bored to tears'or worse, that their company isn't good enough for your undivided attention!
Similarly, not making brief moments of eye contact while speaking suggests you're ashamed or unsure of what you're saying. Visually reconnecting every now and then during your turn to speak implies confidence in your thoughts and opinions.
The last component of today's first impression skill set is the ability to SMILE. Sometimes, we get so caught up in looking so confident that our facial muscles have forgotten to follow suit!
That's ok ' we've all gone through times when our preoccupied minds have distracted us from expressing confidence with a smile. Like the other basic things, it's easy to overlook this simple but powerful gesture.
Now, it doesn't have to be the ear-to-ear kind of grin that would make Jack Nicholson proud. Again, you have to appear relaxed so your smile should reflect this attitude.
However, you also don't want to do it the way salesmen do. It's the kind of smile that seems like a rigid, unreal mask that can be taken off as quickly as it was put on.
You know what I mean, right? They're smiling just because they HAVE to, and not from the pleasure of hanging out with you.
The type of smile you'll need is the kind that GROWS on you during the course of the conversation. Why? It just seems more natural, relaxed, and NOT forced at all.
It's an unspoken sign, but the message that the right smile gets across is worth a WHOLE conversation in itself. So remember to ease up on the trigger, so to speak.
In fact, there's a powerful effect to be found in not smiling much when meeting someone for the first time. This allows you to create a connection by SLOWLY flashing those pearly whites after they've said something to 'EARN' it.
Trust me, creating such an experience for that lucky person is quite meaningful ' even if their CONSCIOUS mind doesn't acknowledge it.
As I told you earlier, you have a better chance of people warming up to you when they feel that their presence has made you feel better. So what I'm really saying is that your smile is a reflection of that JOY within you.
Hardly rocket science, right? I'm telling you, this first impression stuff isn't some great mystery that needs solving!
All the things we've covered today add up to a basic goal, which is to knock their socks off right from the GET-GO.
The first encounter is your best window of opportunity to permanently etch the kind of impression you want to make on someone.
The great thing about it all is that you have the means to make this happen, and having enough PRACTICE is what it boils down to.
You may know the basics now, but you don't study confidence, you DO it. Only then can you truly embody the irresistible woman that's lurking within.
Therefore, I'd like you to try out these things in the REAL WORLD where you'll truly LEARN what works and what doesn't. As I've talked about in the past, mingling with folks isn't a matter of life or death.
Once you wrap your mind around the truth that you have virtually infinite chances to hone your people person skills, the pressure just melts right OFF.
So don't sweat having to practice your awesome first impression-generating skills on the unsuspecting public! Just go about your day as normal, and when the next person is poised to have little chat with you, have at it!
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This article comes to you courtesy of www.meetysweet.com
If you are serious about changing your love life success, the first step on your journey of self discovery needs to be with Meet Your Sweet's 'Get a Guy Guide.'
If you want genuine men, and not just any man, let Mirabelle Summers and the team challenge your beliefs about love and attraction, and show you the way to become a seduction success story.
http://www.meetysweet.com/attractmen
No games. No scripted lines. Real life dating advice for real women!
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NEWS FLASH: Does climbing Mt. Everest seem easier compared to achieving greater self-confidence? Perhaps you feel that being a bolder, more attractive version of yourself is too much of a tall order.
Are you one of those women who turn into a NERVOUS wreck when meeting a cute guy for the first time? Worse, do you feel like you should be a totally different person or stuff down all wonderful the aspects of your personality?
If that's the case, then you need to break out of this harmful train of thought. The things you want to be are already inside you, but you'll need a healthy amount of self-confidence for others to see it!
Check out the best way to let everybody else know that you ARE an attractive woman:
http://www.meetysweet.com/attractmen
When you think about the dating scene, what do you believe are the necessary 'selling points' you need to get a guy's attention? It seems like some girls know something others don't.
A lot of women end up scratching their heads thinking, 'How does SHE do it? It's as if she does practically nothing but she's NEVER short on dates!'
Well, the real trick to connecting with quality guys is by putting yourself on EQUAL footing with them. After all, the kind of man you want needs to be on the same page as you are, so let's go through three quick tips:
You may think that this is about being a flawless specimen of beauty or wallowing in vanity.
NOT at all.
What I'm stressing here is that you need to let everyone know you care enough to look your best. And that's not the same as physical perfection ' guys just need to cotton on to the fact that you're always on top of your looks.
The men that we squeal in delight over are considerate enough to look as good as they do. Even if he isn't without a few flaws here and there, you KNOW that he's got it together.
Thus, we ladies should be game enough to make ourselves just as presentable as they are. Would you date someone that had no regard for hygiene? Any guy who's let go of himself would lower his chances of finding a partner ' that certainly applies to us as well!
Now, what details should we be concerned about? First of all, being fresh and clean is paramount. You may have an awesome personality, but you can help others see all of that by being in a PRESENTABLE package.
This is where regular showers and other daily habits such as flossing, brushing your teeth and shaving come in. Why should we let cleanliness be an issue that'll get in the way of meeting gorgeous men?
Try putting on a nice feminine fragrance that distinctly defines you. Get beautified by spritzing on a light perfume that isn't overpowering but pleasant enough to have guys at the first whiff!
Also, don't be shy with lotions (like vanilla or other similarly enticing scents) to keep you looking AND feeling smooth. There's nothing like a feminine appearance of delicate softness to appeal to a guy's masculine sensibilities!
This same approach goes with your sense of style. Don't be afraid to try on outfits that amplify your womanly attributes.
Looking good doesn't have to mean baring too much. A tasteful outfit should bring out your feminine essence, expose just ENOUGH skin, and accentuate your curves. If you need help with this, employ the help of the people in your life who have a knack for style and fashion.
They'll be able to recommend dresses, tops and blouses that'll keep you classy and sensual at the same time. The most elegant wardrobes allow a HINT of skin in the right places ' any guy with the tiniest bit of imagination will be intrigued enough to take notice!
I'm sure you know at least one woman who happens to have fabulous hair that suits her perfectly. You don't have to imitate her style; instead ask her where she gets her hair done so the same salon can fine tune your own set of locks.
Everyone is different, so consulting with a stylist will help narrow down a customized appearance that complements your frame and personality. Whether your hairstyle is straight, wavy or curly, the important thing is that it's clean, lustrous and fully expresses your unique identity!
Of course, FITNESS has a lot to do with being a girl who has it together. You don't need a perfect body mass index, but it does matter that you are making an EFFORT in this regard.
As busy girls, we have a load of excuses to keep us from working out regularly. However, if we recognize its importance in the general scope of dating (or your health for that matter), we can ALWAYS find time to work on ourselves, one way or another.
As for other matters, a dentist, dermatologist and other specialists who offer the kind assistance you need (be it your teeth, skin, etc) to really help polish the overall package. Investing in their services is a necessary factor to letting everyone know you're looking after yourself.
Generally, the sum of your beautifying efforts weighs a lot more than your imperfections. What girl doesn't have something they don't like about themselves?
But it doesn't matter since guys are willing to gloss over these infinitesimal details if they know you're the kind of girl who doesn't neglect herself.
In a parallel universe, we could look into each other's inner beauty and that would be enough. However, the way we present ourselves still matters when it comes to making a memorable first impression!
Neediness in an emotional and material sense is one of the biggest roadblocks to greater attractiveness. Sure, guys may get the occasional kick out of being your knight in shining armor, but for the most part you'll need to let them know you can live without their brute strength.
In many relationships, the balance of power is so lopsided against a woman's favor that it allows bad stuff to seep in, such being taken for granted. If a guy knows you can live WITHOUT him, he'll naturally treat you better and it will breed MUTUAL respect.
It's a human tendency to VALUE something you could lose at any given moment, right? But of course I don't recommend that you flaunt this fact in anyone's face or use it as a way for a guy to submit to your whims.
I'm simply asking all the ladies out there to project a sense of independence. Guys absolutely LOVE it when they can't have a 100% hold on a girl ' you have no idea what self-sufficiency can do to their 'hunting' instincts.
Men are in it for the thrill of the chase, and knowing that he can't 'tame' you is plenty of fuel for his masculine drive to conquer, pursue and achieve. Tapping into this wellspring (using your independent personality) is a great way to get a lot of dates!
I hope you don't take this the wrong way because all of us obviously *have* lives. It's just that sometimes, pursuing a relationship - or having one - can obscure the importance of having a WELL-BALANCED life.
Even if we are talking about improving your dating life, remember that you have a LOT of other things to be passionate about. And this kind of attitude is what makes a woman more attractive and dateable in a guy's eyes.
When you're dedicated to improving yourself as a whole person, it just makes you more interesting and compelling to know. Jumping into a relationship just so you can have one isn't the right away to go about dating.
For your dating life to flourish, it needs a good, sturdy ground to stand on, namely a happening life filled with stuff you care about and ACTIVELY go after.
For instance, a guy is more likely to be riveted by a girl who has weekly brunches with her family, regularly attends a fitness class and excels at her chosen career. Furthermore, this interesting woman may also have a bunch of other hobbies that open her up to opportunities to meet other similarly appealing people!
If you simply lived out the other parts of your life EQUALLY, chances are that this lucky guy will be dying to be part of your awesome life!
And the great thing about this is that you aren't actively seeking a man's validation or approval; living as a driven woman NATURALLY does that for you.
So my advice for you is to get involved in the other things that interest you ASIDE from cute guys. In the end, we have ourselves to look after anyway ' regardless of whether we're single or not.
All in all, the way you treat yourself is a like a big, fat neon sign that tells the world how they should treat YOU. That's why the way we handle ourselves ' be it in terms of looks, self-sufficiency or lifestyle ' is a reflection of what kind of women we are.
And when you send the right kind of message to guys out there, you can be sure that these quality men are going to pick up on your signal!
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This article comes to you courtesy of www.meetysweet.com
If you are serious about changing your love life success, the first step on your journey of self discovery needs to be with Meet Your Sweet's 'Get a Guy Guide.'
If you want genuine men, and not just any man, let Mirabelle Summers and the team challenge your beliefs about love and attraction, and show you the way to become a seduction success story.
http://www.meetysweet.com/attractmen
No games. No scripted lines. Real life dating advice for real women!
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