By Slade Shaw
Author of Why Men Pull Away <= [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=menpullawaywom&id=YourTracking]
"You don't love someone because of their looks or their clothes or their car. You love them because they sing a song only your heart can understand." - L.J. Smith
Tessa, a tech support specialist from Melbourne in her late twenties, has an active social life.
She often goes to sci-fi conventions, regularly holds video game marathons at her place and meets a lot of people who share the same interests - including guys.
As it was, Tessa had been single for some time and was hoping to find a partner who could complement her personality. And even though she had a lot in common with the guys in her social circles, she couldn't quite hit it off romantically with any of them.
So it was a complete surprise when Ben came along and swept Tessa off her feet.
"He's super active in the local sports scene and is very athletic, so he wasn't my type at all...or so I thought," Tessa shared with a girlish smile.
They met by chance at a charity auction set up by mutual friends, and they clicked the moment they met.
"I couldn't put my finger on it at first, but I knew right away he was different, and in a good way," she gushed.
"He wasn't like any other guy I've met, and I don't think it had anything to do with our interests. Ben has this energy and warmth about him that I absolutely LOVE."
How to spot The One
Their worlds were pretty far removed from each other, but that didn't stop Tessa from falling hard for Ben.
It's surprising how couples who seem like polar opposites at first turn out to be a perfect fit.
And most of the time, it can be a tricky business to figure out if a certain guy is a good match for you.
Considering his unique personality and quirks - along with the whole deal about mixed signals - it's hard to sift through all of that and see the signs he's MEANT for you.
So how can you tell he's your Mr. Right...or if you should keep looking?
Read on to find out...
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Sign #1: He's got your back
One thing I've noticed in a lot of couples who've been together for years is how supportive they are of each other.
It's always a good sign when a guy endlessly encourages his partner to pursue her interests and passions - no matter how "out there" they might seem.
If you see that your guy is always trying to push you forward in a HEALTHY direction - especially when you doubt yourself - that's a clear indication he's a good match for you.
When looking for a partner, it's important to find someone who wants to see you GROW and evolve. A guy who acts as a positive force in your life is worth keeping around.
Sign #2: He's part of your world
Like Tessa learned, hitting it off doesn't have much to do with how similar your personalities or interests are.
Sure, having stuff in common makes it easier to break the ice, but in the long run it's not going to keep the relationship going.
The more important factor is how willing he is to be part of your life anyway.
Tessa recalled fondly: "Ben didn't know the first thing about Star Wars, or sci-fi movies in general, but he went with me to the midnight screening of The Force Awakens with my geek friends...and we even wore matching Jedi outfits! I didn't ask Ben to do that, but he suggested the idea and I loved him for that..." If he's into you, he'll care about the things you do. He'll spend his time on them because he knows those things make you, YOU.
And that's exactly what he wants to be part of - your fun and happening life.
Sign#3: You share a special bond
You know how some couples almost seem to know what the other is thinking without saying a word?
It's amazing - and a little eerie - to see them connect at this level that no one else can.
It's not ESP or some other supernatural phenomenon - some people are empathic this way and have a kind of radar for it.
Your guy doesn't have to be psychic or have a sixth sense, nor should you expect him to be.
But if he has the awareness to at least ask you if you're ok, then that's the sign of a concerned - and CONNECTED - partner.
This is the kind of man who can sense that's there's something amiss in your inner world and respond to it.
When he picks up on your signals, he won't just ask if you're doing alright...
...he'll also want to help you get out of your funk, get the proverbial fly out of your soup...
...and basically do anything to make you right as rain again.
And the fact that he cares about what you're feeling or thinking speaks volumes of the kind of guy he is.
Sign #4: He's making the EFFORT
If a guy's important to you, he'll always be working overtime to make sure you're happy.
Men are big on making their partner feel provided for and protected, so he's going to do this in every way he can.
If he's not making plans with you and create amazing, shared experiences together...
...he'll try to help you with something that's bugging you, like your fixing your smartphone or running some errand you hate.
A guy worth keeping is one who'll do anything to take the load off your mind and make your life easier.
Another thing you might notice is how a guy will do things with you on a regular basis.
He'll take you out for morning coffee, walk your dog with you every Saturday or schedule a monthly expedition at his favorite camping spot.
If he does this, take note, because a man doesn't change his schedule that easily.
Only a guy who's in "single" mode will insist on keeping his appointments as they are.
A guy IN LOVE, on the other hand, will suddenly have all the reasons in the world to make his schedule more flexible than a contortionist at the circus.
More than that, he wants to create a shared life with you.
So it's not just what he does - it's also the amount of time he gives up and trouble he goes through in the name of your happiness.
This is one of the most precious gifts he could give anyone.
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Sign #5: He makes everything AWESOME
Even the most boring, everyday things become amazing when you're with him.
Maybe you need to run to the store to get pasta noodles or pick up a package at the post office - but you wouldn't miss it for the world if he offers to go with you.
You're so attracted to each other that everything else seems to fade into the background when you're together.
He wants to know every little you were up to today, and likewise for you.
That's what being soulmates is all about - he turns the mundane into the magical by simply being there.
And when you're having the worst of days, you STILL want him around because you know he's such a positive presence in your life.
He's there to hear you rant about the crazy drama you had with a co-worker, or some other struggle you're going through.
Whatever it is, he's all ears and isn't itching to jump in with a solution to your problems.
He'll sit back, listen quietly and only speak after you're done talking.
He'll only offer his opinion when you ask for it and always make you feel like he's hearing you out.
All of these add up to the unmistakable fact that you've found The One.
Finding this kind of connection with a man is RARE, so you should pay attention when he's showing you the right signs.
More importantly, you need to make sure that spark keeps burning bright and strong with your Mr. Right.
I've seen a lot of couples who were perfect for each other, but drift apart for one reason or another.
Maybe he's not as affectionate as he was before...
...or the passion has faded...
...or he's simply going through the motions.
Worse, it might even seem that he's pulling away.
If you have a terrible feeling in the pit if your stomach that you can't ignore any longer, then it's time to know the REAL reasons Why Men Pull Away. <= [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=menpullawaywom&id=YourTracking]
I've put together a video that explains exactly how to recapture your man's heart before it's TOO LATE:
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By Slade Shaw
Author of Why Men Pull Away <= [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=menpullawaywom&id=YourTracking]
"Be the flame, not the moth." - Giacomo Casanova
We all want to be loved.
It's a human need - we yearn for that magical connection with The One Person meant for each of us.
You might be on the lookout for that guy right now, just as he's searching for someone like you.
Or maybe you're already in a relationship and you want to keep the flames of passion burning ferociously bright with your man.
Either way, you'd do well to learn the secrets to turning him on like crazy.
If you can make him feel things he's never felt with any other woman before, then he's as good as YOURS.
Meet Tina
She was like most women who stumbled in the dark when it came to men and dating.
Tina, a real estate agent from Surrey, had trouble keeping a guy around.
Either he "needed space", wasn't "ready commit to something long-term" or had some equally lame excuse available.
So she jumped from one relationship to the next and fell into the same patterns over and over.
After a few weeks of getting hot and heavy, the guy was soon out the door...
...and into another woman's arms.
Her latest one was a colleague named Jeff - and like the others, things crashed and burned before it could even get off the ground.
They had a few dates and seemed to have fun (especially in bed!), but it soon fizzled out like the others.
Jeff suddenly became unavailable, dodged Tina's calls and messages...until he was out of the picture just like that.
After her last disappointment, Tina started to get desperate. She began to think there was something seriously wrong with her.
"My last REAL relationship was almost a decade ago, and I've gotten nothing but duds ever since. Maybe I pissed off the dating gods or something to deserve my rotten luck with men!"
However, Tina is anything but an isolated case. I've met - and helped - lots of women in the same boat as her.
And today, I'm going to let you in on the 10 Incredibly Effective Ways to Capture Your Guy's Heart Forever:
#1: Please his eyes
When I tell you that you need to be physically attractive to capture his interest, that doesn't means guys are shallow.
This is what I call "getting your foot in the door."
Sure, women might not prioritize looks as much as guys do.
But you can't deny that a man ALSO needs to be visually appealing on some level before feeling attracted to him.
That's not right or wrong - it's simply biology in action.
To flip those hardwired switches in him, you'll need to put in the work.
Take note that has nothing to do with being "perfect", because that's a relative concept. Every guy has a "type" and there's no ONE kind of woman that ALL men are into.
That means you WILL click with someone, one way or another.
All you need to do is take care of yourself, which is what you should be doing anyway regardless.
I could write a whole book about looking and feeling your best, but here's a quick checklist to go over for now:
First things first: paying attention to hygiene is non-negotiable, and so is staying fit and active. Grooming is a must, so don't neglect the basic things either. Guys need to know you care about this stuff before seeing you as a potential partner.
Flaunt your feminine side: experiment with different scents, keep your skin smooth and soft with lotions and use makeup when necessary (tip: less is more!).
Have an impeccable sense of style: The right packaging sends the right signals to his caveman brain, so keep your clothes neat and pressed. Also, choose soft fabrics that accentuate your curves - they have a soothing appeal that'll drive him crazy with desire!
#2: Create killer chemistry
To establish a strong connection with a guy (or strengthen it with a long-term partner), he needs to feel that he has a lot of common ground with you.
Does your personality and attitude give him the impression that he can open himself up to you?
And he can have conversations with you that seem to go on forever (but don't feel that way)?
Does he feel like you "get" him on a level that's deeper than anyone else he's met?
Does your sense of humor jive with his, and do you laugh at the same dumb jokes?
Do you have a burning curiosity for each other? Does he want to pick your brain and know what makes you tick - and likewise for you?
If your personality and attitude can create that type of climate in the relationship, then you're doing it right.
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#3: Get him to trust you
A lot of women think that getting emotionally close with a guy is as easy as sleeping with him. But jumping into bed isn't going to do the trick.
If he wasn't sure about how he felt for you BEFORE doing the deed...
...he'll feel all the more uncertain the morning after.
If you want to create an unshakable bond with your man, the first step is ACCEPTING him.
This is HUGE on a guy's list - it might even be higher than sex, if not just as important.
A man wants to feel that their partner accepts them as who he is - NOT what she wants him to be.
Women don't realize they do this in small ways, like giving him the raised eyebrow when it comes to the way he dresses.
A few helpful suggestions are fine, but don't go nuts and turn him into your personal makeover guinea pig.
The same goes for the stuff he's into or the people he hangs out with. If it's not getting in the way of your relationship, it's not worth butting heads with him over it.
#4: Be his wing(wo)man
If you want him to see you as a partner and not just a one-time fling, you need to live up to the title.
And to do that, he'll need your SUPPORT.
If he's going through a hellish time in his career or has stuff of his own to sort out, he'll need to know you've got his back.
Men tend to withdraw a bit emotionally when they're fighting some battle in their life, so don't take it personally.
He's just going into a one-track-mind mode so he can focus his energy on whatever he needs to deal with at the moment.
In the meantime, you can quietly assure him that you'll be there for him. He'll come back around after he wrestles those pesky problems into submission.
#5: Pull back
When a guy's crazy about you, the best thing to do is make yourself scarce - but just a little bit.
I'm not telling you to play the hard-to-get game where you're blowing him off on purpose just to see him squirm.
That's manipulation - and let me tell you, guys are NOT thrilled by that at all.
I'm just asking you not to "spoil" him too much and overindulge in the relationship.
Otherwise, it could throw off the balance in both your lives.
So where do you draw the line when it comes to pulling back?
An easy way to do this is by asking yourself, "Am I sacrificing my own growth, well-being or sense of individuality by hanging out too much with him?"
If your other priorities are out of whack - like your career, health or social life - then it's time to rein yourself in a bit.
Let him miss you a little and get busy being the AWESOME woman that you are.
He'd rather have someone who isn't available at his beck and call 24/7...
...as opposed to a clingy, lovesick puppy who lives and breathes for his approval.
#6: Inspire him to action
One thing that turns on a guy is the feeling of being NEEDED.
You might be thinking, "What?? Didn't you just tell me to be a strong, independent woman who doesn't need a guy to be happy?"
Well yes, but the operative word here is "feeling".
Any guy worth your time knows darn well that you don't actually NEED him to live a full life.
He just wants the privilege of being part of it anyway.
And if you let him play the game where he gets to indulge his more brutish, masculine side, he'll love you for it.
Ask him to help you out with "guy stuff", like moving some heavy stuff around, fixing something in the house, setting up your new computer or killing that bug that flew in your bathroom.
Or you could ask him for his expertise on something, like which smart TV has true 1080p resolution or how to invest in Bitcoin...you get the idea.
Men absolutely love knowing they can do this type of thing for their partner because that's their "provider/protector instinct" kicking in.
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#7: Let him do his thing
The couples who've been together the longest are those who understand that they can't be together every second of the day.
This goes beyond what I said earlier about pulling back a little.
From time to time, he's going to want to go off and express himself...
...and it won't involve you.
Women who are, well, less mature, will have a hard time accepting this fact about men.
But that's exactly what you need to respect, which is his need for individuality and independence.
This factor alone can be a dealbreaker for most guys because they're secretly afraid they'll have to give those up once he commits to a woman.
So alleviate those fears and let him have his friends, hobbies and other side projects he's working on.
#8: Take a chill pill
Another thing that guys are worried about is that their partner's going to freak out when he cracks the occasional inappropriate joke or takes an off-day playing Grand Theft Auto on his PS4.
Essentially, guys are looking for that girl who won't suck all the fun out of the relationship with her drama.
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but that's what guys are thinking - they just don't have the nerve to tell you.
You can do this by keeping it cool when something unexpected happens, like canceled dinner plans on account of an emergency.
Or it could also mean not having unspoken, arbitrary rules in the relationship that force him to walk on eggshells around you.
You know, like not flipping out when he likes a female friend's Facebook post or Instragram selfie - or on a bigger note, acknowledging the existence of other women in his life.
If you can pick your battles and let the inconsequential stuff slide, he'll be all the happier for it.
#9: Don't MAKE him fall in love with you
This may come as a surprise to a lot of women, but you can't actually tell a guy what to think or feel...
...especially when it comes to deciding whether to commit to someone or not.
Men won't be MORE compelled to stick around if he feels FORCED into it.
Pressure is never attractive. He needs to have the freedom to CHOOSE instead of feeling like he owes it to you.
This is critical in the beginning when he's still feeling things out. Try to avoid using labels like "exclusive", "girlfriend" or "committed" until you've mutually confirmed it.
And more importantly, you shouldn't punish him in some way if he's not as "on-board" as you are.
Part of being in a relationship is stepping aside and letting it happen organically.
If you try to create that closeness by sleeping with him or give him an ultimatum, he'll eventually bail out on you since it wasn't his real decision anyway.
#10: Amazing Sex (need I say more?)
You didn't think we'd skip this one, did you?
Assuming that you've bonded with him enough and the connection is there, the sexual component of your relationship is VITAL.
Without it, you might as well be platonic friends. With that, here are some essential tips you need to know:
Make him feel like a MAN...or THE Man, to be exact. Again, this is his caveman side we're talking about. Guys want nothing more than to please their partner - especially when it comes to that - which brings us to the next tip...
If he's doing it right, TELL him. If your guy's lighting you up like a Christmas tree, give him the signals. Your verbal and non-verbal cues will tell him you're on bliss island. You could even slip a little R-rated language while you're in throes of passion if you're so inclined...
Communication is KEY. We're approaching clichéd territory here, but it's crucial nonetheless. Maybe you've hit a roadblock in your sex life for whatever reason and it's keeping you from giving 100% of yourself to him. If that's the case, he deserves to know, but try to skip the harsh criticism and accusations. Trust me, if there's anything he can do to help things get back on track, he'll be more than willing.
Use the power of the "slow burn". Men love being teased as long as they know it'll lead up to the main event. Make a game out of it and don't go for the obvious erogenous zones, like down south. Bring things to a simmering boil by touching him elsewhere that's just as powerful and erotic. Or send him a quick text about what you're going to do to him later on. Anything you that builds up the anticipation will keep him eager and willing to please you.
Whether you've been together for three months or three decades, there's always plenty you can do to make him crave you like a cool drink on a hot summer day. With the right habits, you can easily cultivate the right atmosphere in your relationship.
But there are women out there whose guy is slipping away FAST - and they need to stop him from walking out the door, pronto.
In cases like that, you'll need to bring out the big guns.
You see, I've developed a system to keep a man not only interested and attracted to you...
...but make him feel like living without you is NOT an option.
After using my powerful techniques on him, he won't see any other women aside from you.
(And while he's at it, he'll stop looking at their Facebook and Instagram feeds without you asking him - just saying...)
In other words, I can teach you how to make him OBSESSED with you so the thought of leaving won't ever cross his mind.
But let me warn you that this is powerful stuff and you should only use it on the right guy.
You need to be sure that you NEVER want him to leave you.
If you're ready to take the plunge and learn why men pull away - Click here to watch my free video presentation...<= [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=menpullawaywom&id=YourTracking]
By Slade Shaw
Author of Why Men Pull Away <= [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=menpullawaywom&id=YourTracking]
“Falling in love is easy. Falling in love with the same person repeatedly is extraordinary.”
- Crystal Woods
Aspasia was a famous woman in Greek history who lived during the 5th century.
She wasn’t just known for her knock-out looks, but also for her beautiful mind and razor-sharp wit.
More than that, her life gives us a look into how women of ancient Greece used to roll back in the day.
Originally hailing from Miletus (now known as Turkey), she came to Athens and became a courtesan to influential figures like Pericles, a well-known figure at the time.
Soon enough, Aspasia made a name for herself as she got to know the crème de la crème of Greek society.
Politicians, philosophers, high-rollers - and of course, lovestruck men - naturally gravitated towards her.
Few could resist Aspasia’s beauty and her legendary talent for thought-provoking conversation.
In fact, no less than Plato mentioned her on more than one occasion in his writings. Some scholars even argued that he based one of his fictional characters on Aspasia.
Fast forward to more than a thousand years later, and people are still talking about her.
You don’t get to have that kind of historical impact without wielding some serious mojo.
The natural ability to attract men is so powerful because it goes past culture, beliefs or values.
It’s almost an unfair advantage, really.
Having the RIGHT TRAITS basically gives you the power to tap into a guy’s mind…
…and flip his subconscious switches that tell him how ridiculously attractive you are.
And here’s the thing: those switches have been there since time began.
They’re in the same category of switches that tell a guy when to eat, sleep, fight, or flee.
In other words, it’s PRIMAL.
Once you trigger those instincts, he’s powerless from feeling overwhelmingly attracted to you.
These attraction signals transcend history and have stood the test of time.
But enough talk – let’s get down to it…
Here are The Top 4 Traits That Make Him Love You (Again and Again):
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When it comes to instincts, it’s not just about foraging for food or fighting off wild animals.
Part of our brain is also designed to perceive status - and sexual attraction overlaps a great deal with that.
This goes back to ancient times, and being part of a group conveyed a certain status.
So someone who possessed more “social currency” than others had elated a specific psychological response.
It’s not just about having actual money, mind you - although it did have a little bit to do with that.
Higher status also involved other subliminal cues, like hygiene, intelligence, emotional maturity and so on.
These were signals that told men that she was an Alpha Female, so to speak.
Aspasia carried herself with grace, eloquence and dignity. She wasn’t born into nobility, but she came out on top anyway because of these collective traits.
Even though she had her share of haters back then, she let criticism roll off like water on feathers.
Women also size up potential partners in the same way, too.
Masculine traits such as strength, sense of direction and protectiveness appeal to women on a primal level.
This also harkens back to the days of tribal societies. Women traditionally had to depend on the father figure to keep them safe from immediate threats like starvation or bandits.
Obviously, a LOT has changed since then, and that model doesn’t really apply anymore.
But our evolutionary brains tell us otherwise. Deep inside, a part of us still need to check off that list before we can give someone the green light.
That said, if you can cultivate a personality built on feminine strength, flirty playfulness and a good old dose of classy…
…then you’d be hard-pressed not to have a bunch of guys fighting over you.
It’s not easy to let a guy see your softer, more sensitive side. It might feel like opening a can of worms when you’re with someone you don’t really know that well yet.
But part of connecting with a man on a deeper level involves sharing things that you wouldn’t tell anyone else.
And of course, I’m not saying you should launch right into your life story on the first date and bare your soul right then and there.
(Believe me, that’s the kind of stuff that’ll make him excuse himself to the bathroom…then climb out the window.)
What I mean is that when you’re trying to develop an emotional bond with a guy, you can slowly reveal the deeper layers that make up who you are.
Over time, you can gradually share your greatest fears, the people you looked up to as a kid, or the kind of life you want a decade from now.
If you feel that he’s met you halfway…
…and more importantly, EARNED the right to see that side of you…
…then don’t be afraid to open up to him.
Time it right, and he’ll be incredibly honored that you gave him that privilege.
If anything, men badly want to be accepted too, and by making the first move to put yourself out there, he’ll want to reciprocate and open himself up to you as well.
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When you hear the word “feminine”, you might be thinking of qualities like wearing floral dresses, speaking in a high-pitched voice, gushing about last night’s episode of “The Real Housewives of New York City” or acting…“girly.”
But the real essence of this trait goes beyond the superficial or stereotypical.
Being a woman in a man’s eyes is having a nuanced combination of qualities.
We’ve already covered the importance of being emotionally open in the last point, but there are a couple of others you need to know.
For instance, let’s backtrack a little bit to what I said about a man’s protective instincts.
Nowadays, your typical guy isn’t really concerned about keeping a lion from mauling his wife and offspring, but that mindset still exists in a different form.
Men still take pleasure in being able to take care of his loved ones. He derives a sense of accomplishment from that, and it’s even tied to his core masculinity.
So if you complement that with your own feminine need to have a guy “take care of you”, he’ll be more than happy to fill that role.
I’m telling you this while being well aware that you don’t need a man to carry you through life.
But I’m also saying this: if you give him the privilege to let him do it anyway…
…it will encourage him to do the things a guy does for his partner.
And of course, this is ALL in the context of a healthy, emotionally balanced relationship.
And I’m pretty sure that’s what you want.
Here’s another feminine quality: be attuned to his needs, and nurture his spirit.
I can already hear some women going, “What about me? I’ve got my own needs…and I’m not about to babysit some man-child with mommy issues!”
But hear me out.
Again, if you want a balanced, functional relationship (as you should), you have to understand what guys want in a partner.
Many men are achievement-driven and results-oriented go-getters in their lives.
From a guy’s point of view, his manliness is on the line whenever he’s out there in the big, bad, world.
So at the end of the day, he wants nothing more than a loving partner who’s got his back.
He needs a woman that can help him untangle that yarn ball of emotions that he himself doesn’t always understand.
And most of all, he years for a woman who’ll ACCEPT him, shortcomings and all.
If you can bring your feminine energy into the equation and heal him this way, you’ll have a devoted partner FOR LIFE.
Now, there are other feminine qualities that attract men of course, but these two tend to be on the top of a man’s list.
Moving on to the last and biggest one…
I used to have a pet cat named Arlene (bless her furry little soul), and she had a toy mouse that would squeak once she “killed it.”
The funny thing was that she quickly lost interest after she did this a few times.
In her mind, she’d already satisfied her hunting instinct, so her mouse didn’t have quite have that novelty anymore.
In the same way, men have fun pursuing their partner. This is his caveman brain engaging in a social game, endlessly wanting to “dominate” his prey.
I know that might not exactly sound romantic at first, but don’t take this literally.
This is a symbolical need that men have, and it manifests itself in different ways.
For example, ever notice the way a guy gets more and more turned on when you give him “a hard time”?
You can do this in a bunch of situations, like say, giving him a little trash talk after winning at a video game or Monopoly…
… heavily flirting with him at a very public place…
…having little inside jokes between you…
…or having a humorous conversation about the stuff you don’t agree on.
These are all little ways men “test” their partner.
In his mind, he’s wondering about things like:
So he’ll try to find out by “playing” with you and see what other parts of your personality emerge.
But more importantly, he lives for the title of being The One who “caught” you.
From time to time, you can make him feel this by validating his feelings and giving him affection.
But don’t overdo it and smother him with your attention all the time.
For the most part, let HIM do the chasing.
Here’s another way to make him pursue you: have a life of your own outside of the relationship.
Get your own thing going and spend time on the other areas of your life that keep you happy and satisfied.
This reminds him that sometimes, you’re a little bit out of reach, which is how it should be.
He’ll pursue you with a passion and find ways to win you over, again and again.
There are some cases though where a guy isn’t as on-board as you’d like. And as cute as he is, you kinda want to whack him on the head for being so dense.
You might be even feeling a little helpless.
He’s pulling away from you even after you’ve pulled out all the stops and tried every trick in the book.
Well, I’m telling you right now that you haven’t tried them all.
Here’s an eye-opening free presentation that gives you the REAL DEAL on why men leave, and what makes them stay.
Fair warning: some of this stuff won’t necessarily be pleasant to hear.
But if you’re interested in the truth about how men think – and how to keep him from walking out…
…you’ll need to put on your Big Girl pants and watch this video now:
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By Slade Shaw
Author of Why Men Pull Away <=[Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=menpullawaywom&id=YourTracking]
“Emotion looks the same whether you’re a suburban housewife or a suicide bomber. The truth is written on our faces.” - Cal Lightman, “Lie To Me”
Men: aren’t they a handful?
If you’re not stressing out over their will-he-or-won’t-he-commit antics, they’re giving you mixed signs about how they feel.
It can be frustrating trying to decode what a man says because unlike women, he’s not as emotionally expressive. So, he may be feeling one way, but his words suggest otherwise.
But it’s not that he’s trying to mislead you on purpose. The problem is that most guys grew up not learning how to communicate their feelings.
So that leaves a lot of room for misunderstandings and unspoken sentiments.
Sometimes, even he doesn’t know what he’s feeling at the moment and has a hard time sorting them out.
That makes it even more challenging for a guy to give you the real deal about where you stand with him.
On top of that, your guy might be particularly shy or terrified at the thought of getting turned down (something common among men).
With so much getting in the way, it’s easy for you to misread his signs and take it for romantic interest – which of course, will put a huge, AWKWARD wedge between you two.
Or maybe the signs were flashing right in front of you, but went over your head.
And when you finally realized it after the fact, it was too late and the proverbial ship had already sailed.
If either of those things have happened to you, don’t fret. Plenty of women have had their dreamboat get away from them on account of this pesky problem.
But there is a way to read your guy like a book so you when he’s giving you the green light…
...or if you should take a detour and move on.
While his words can be ambiguous, his BODY is another story. Everything he does sends a clear message of how he’s REALLY feeling.
Dr. David Givens, Ph.D., author of “Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship”, says that humans give off these non-verbal cues during the courtship phase as a way of “feeling out” a potential mate.
There’s a certain rhythm to it, much like how animals engage in mating rituals.
In other words, it’s in our DNA, and humans have been playing this game for as long as we’ve been on this planet.
And if you want to win big time, the trick is to learn the crucial signs that tell you your guy is, in fact, feeling it.
If you can identify the signals as he gives them off, you’ll know exactly how to plan your next move.
Best of all, these signs are just as legit whether you’ve known him for some time, like a colleague or mutual friend…
…or that hottie who walked into the coffee shop five minutes ago.
With that, let’s get into the 8 Sure-Fire Body Cues He’s Into You:
Before anything else, he’s going to scope the scene. So your guy will try and get a feel of things by making eye contact.
If he’s trying to make a visual connection, that’s him reaching out and checking if he can move on to the next step.
He’ll usually start with a tentative glance, connect with you, then look somewhere else.
And when he looks at you again, it’s game on!
Personally, I’m not a fan of the whole check-his-pupils-if-they’re-dilated business. It’s not like you can walk up and start observing him like a lab rat.
Anyway, the important thing is that he’s got that look that says he wants to reach out and touch you - which brings us to the next sign…
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Alright, so his next move is getting in your space, but in a friendly and non-threatening way.
Maybe you’re telling him something during a conversation and he’ll get in closer to hear you better.
But if you’re 100% audible within earshot and he STILL gets in to listen, that’s different.
That’s him instinctively trying to get into your comfort zone in a casual manner. It’s all very subtle and chances are he’s not even aware he’s doing it.
But all the same, humans use physical proximity as a yardstick of emotional closeness. And a guy going the distance is probably on the path to being more than friends with you.
This could be a man who checked you out at the bookstore or grocery aisle and made some chit-chat – or a long-time friend trying to escalate things further.
It doesn’t matter. Speaking of escalation, let’s move on…
Ok, let me back up a bit first. Most men grew up not really having the benefit of physical affection as much as women do.
While women are usually more keen to express themselves through touch - and getting that in return – guys aren’t in the same position.
That’s just how it is and there’s nothing wrong with that. It does, however, put your man in a position where he’s, in a way, “starved” for this kind of attention.
That’s why when he’s in the presence of someone he digs, he’ll naturally gravitate towards her.
More importantly, if your guy feels THAT way for you, he’ll try to make contact in “small” ways.
It’s going to be low-key, like brushing against your elbow…
…tapping your shoulder to get your attention…
…a playful jab when you’re joking around…
…or squeezing your forearm ever so lightly for a microsecond when he’s making a point in a conversation.
Also, your smooth operator is going to gauge how you react. So if you’re feeling it too, help him out by responding favorably.
He knows he’s treading on unfamiliar ground, which is why your man is dying to get a sign of hope from you - just saying…
Do you sense your guy’s a bit on edge, or isn’t at ease as he is with other people (e.g. his buddies, co-workers, etc.)?
Or maybe he’s acting a bit awkward, stammers a little and his voice has a nervous pitch to it…
If your man’s like this with you, and NOT with anyone else, then he sees you differently from them – and that’s a GOOD thing.
He’s feeling a special kind of pressure that only comes with someone he’s in love with.
You might not realize that while he’s talking to you, he’s racking his brains trying to think of the perfect response.
So he might end up tripping over himself trying to impress you. In his mind, he wants to be that funny, charming guy he thinks you want him to be.
And you’ll probably notice that he can’t keep his hands still either. He’s either ramming his straw in his drink, chewing his lip, tapping his foot while he’s seated, twirling a pencil between his fingers, or running his hands through his hair.
If you’re noticing any of this, try to put him at ease. Trust me, a little encouragement goes a long way with a guy.
Once he knows he’s still in the game, he’ll eventually overcome that awkwardness and sweep you off your feet.
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Look at the way he’s standing in front of you. If he appeared laid back and relaxed before you showed up, he might suddenly act like there’s an invisible hanger in the back of his shirt.
Aside from that, he’ll be showing off his glorious pecs by sticking his chest out.
He’s unconsciously broadcasting his masculine features in the hopes of getting your attention, not unlike peacocks who flaunt their feathers to attract a mate.
You might even catch him fixing his hair or smoothing out his shirt with his hands if he knows you’re nearby.
I call it the “Drill Sergeant Effect”: when you walk by, he’ll snap at full attention and wouldn’t dream about disappointing you.
You know how it is in cartoons or movies when the guy’s love interest is talking and he’s practically hypnotized from watching her lips move?
For further comedic effect, it’ll turn dead silent right before cheesy romantic music starts playing.
Meanwhile, the poor guy’s sitting there, mesmerized. He couldn’t find a way out of her eyes even if he had a map!
So what I’m trying to say is that you kind of have the same effect on a guy, and it SHOWS.
He’ll make you feel like you’re the most important person in the room.
Well, that’s because you ARE that important to him, and he’ll be hanging on to every word you say. It’s like nobody else is there because you have his FULL attention.
He’ll nod, laugh and give you a healthy dose of ‘uh-huh’, ‘yeah’, ‘oh’ and ‘wow’ to let you know he’s really listening to you.
No, he’s not going to try to win you over by singing and dancing like a certain boy band.
(A little 90s reference there… *wink, wink*)
Ok, semi-funny jokes aside (you chuckled a little, admit it), a guy in love will try to match your pace in a couple of crucial ways.
First, he’s going to walk alongside you at a slower pace.
Weird, right? But it’s true.
This might be a situation where you ran into each other by chance, or you’re both headed in the same direction for some reason (like running an errand together or something like that).
Whatever it is, he’s likely to adjust his speed, usually by slowing down.
According to a Seattle Pacific University study entitled “Energetic Consequences of Human Sociality: Walking Speed Choices among Friendly Dyads”, men have generally evolved to either speed up or slow down for their partner so she doesn’t have to waste any precious energy.
So what that all means is that he’s doing this for your benefit, and it’s a privilege reserved only for YOU.
And here’s another interesting tidbit about sexual attraction: he’s going to try and match YOUR body language as well.
He’ll be doing what you do, like leaning forward when you’re sitting across each other, or have his hands on his hips like you while standing up.
It could even extend into verbal territory, like trying to TALK like you.
For instance, he’ll start using your favorite expressions - that’s him subconsciously expressing his desire to establish rapport with you.
That way, you’ll feel more comfortable around him.
And finally, the last big thing to look out for…
Nothing like a vague sign to end things on an anticlimactic note, am I right?
(Just kidding…last one, I promise!)
Yeah, so you’ll notice that he’ll avoid any gestures that might suggest that he’s closed off to you in any shape or form.
He’s not going to blow his chances by sending any message along the lines of “go away!”
His arms won’t be crossed and he’ll sit back in his chair to look relaxed (even though his heart’s racing), and his feet are pointed towards you.
Oh, and he’ll probably have a big old smile plastered on his gorgeous mug. And it’s not the polite kind of smile, either.
I’m talking about the holy-cow-I-can’t-believe-you’re-actually-here-and-I-hope-this-moment-never-ends kind of smile that you can’t miss.
Men have a knack for flashing those pearly whites because they’re a signal they’re truly grateful for sharing the same air as you.
That might sound a little needy or desperate, but believe me, a guy couldn’t care any less about feeling this way about you.
In those precious moments, time seems to freeze and nothing else matters to him except YOU. He’s in awe of you and it’s nothing short of MAGICAL for him.
His body will show it, and that expression on his face will tell you.
If you’re seeing more than half of these signs, then you’ve got a good thing going for you.
But what if you USED to see these signs, and the magic has faded a bit?
He had that warmth about him before, but now things have gotten a little chilly.
Or worse, he might even be showing signs that he’s PULLING AWAY.
Don’t despair though – it’s not the end of the world…or your relationship.
You see, I’ve helped plenty of women figure out exactly why guys leave, and it’s NOT for the reasons you think.
The truth is that you can spot these signs immediately AND keep him from walking out the door.
Better yet, you can make him feel like he’s falling in love with you all over again. Then he’ll give you those body language signals of affection all day, every day.
It all starts by watching this free video I just put up:
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By Slade Shaw
Author of Why Men Pull Away <= [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=menpullawaywom&id=YourTracking]
“If you love someone but rarely make yourself available to him or her, that is not true love.”
-Thich Nhat Hanh
Guys don’t always say what they mean, whether it’s unintentional or not.
Sometimes, it’s a case of miscommunication where a man has trouble expressing himself, and you get the wrong message.
For instance, he could be fresh out of a relationship and didn’t know what he was getting into when started going out with you.
He might have thought at first that he was ready to commit, but somewhere down the line he realized that he couldn’t give you what you wanted.
And as he’s working out his feelings, he’ll give you what’s usually known as “mixed signals”.
Then there are times when he knows exactly what he wants, and will do anything to get it…
…even if it means lying to your face.
He’ll charm you into bed, then split the scene once he’s gotten what he wanted.
Either way, it’s NOT the kind of love you’re after.
So how do you know if he’s not feeling “all that” about being with you, whatever reason it may be?
And how do you spot signs of true love so you don’t waste your time on the WRONG guy?
Personally, I don’t believe in any of that mixed signals business. No matter what he says, it’s always his actions and behavior that tell the real story.
Witt that, here are the 8 biggest signs to help you know whether he feels a deep, heartfelt love for you…
…or he’s just taking you for a ride.
Bear in mind that you can spot these telltale clues in any guy, regardless of how long you’ve known him. These traits manifest on a deeper level for long-term relationships, and you’ll see early indications for a newer guy.
At any rate, you’d best find out as soon as possible – here we go…
You might hear some couples talking about the strong connection they have. They seem to know what the other is thinking, or even finish each other’s sentences.
It’s borderline psychic, and they swear there’s something supernatural going on.
But the real reason couples like them are so in tune is because they pay attention to each other.
There’s nothing complicated about it – they basically cultivate the habit of responding when one of them is trying to make a connection.
For example, you might say to your partner while you’re walking down the street, “Hey honey, check out that Prius with the Hello Kitty decals…I can’t decide if it’s cute or trashy!”
If he just ignores you or shrugs with an apathetic, “Hmm”, then the connection between you might not be as strong as you think.
But if he says something like, “Yeah, definitely trashy… that car’s perfect for you!” with a cheeky grin, then it means he’s really paying attention to you.
And it’s not just about pointing out something interesting to your partner. It can be more subtle, like bringing up a story and seeing how the other reacts, getting a quick opinion on your outfit, or asking for help with the laundry.
These are “small” ways couples try to connect with each other, and it takes practice for couples to get into this groove. You’ll see those who’ve been together for some time are naturally good at this.
On the other hand, a superficial kind of love doesn’t make the effort to make these little connections.
If a guy continuously brushes off your attempts to connect (and not because he just happens to be having a bad day), then he might not be that into the relationship as you think.
When a guy isn’t really in love, it’s not really important to him whether he’s sending a clear message or not.
What do I mean by this?
Well for starters, he has the habit of letting you know at the last minute if he can’t make it or he’s running late.
And when you’re not together, it usually feels like he’s gone off the grid.
You don’t hear from him for long stretches of time, and he won’t bother to let you know what’s going on with him.
Even if he seems like the most charming, fun and sweet guy when you are together - especially in bed…
…he probably isn’t that committed if his actions outside of that are ambiguous.
True love is the opposite of that, which means he’ll leave no room for you to wonder if he’s going to flake out on you or not.
He’s going to make sure that the way he communicates with you is absolutely clear and “on the level”.
With a relationship purely based on lust, there’s little to no effort involved when it comes to doing things that bring a couple closer.
There’s that “I’ll see you when I see you” kind of vibe, and you don’t feel any sort of GROWTH between you.
A man who’s in love is going to make sure he gets to spend time with you, even if he has to rearrange his whole schedule.
And it’s a sure sign he’s super serious if these are ritual type of activities, and not just getting busy between the sheets.
When a guy’s creating shared experiences, he’s also interested in forming a richer, DEEPER connection with you.
It’s not always about going on a weekend getaway or bungee jumping…
…but rather smaller things like huddling together for a weekend Netflix marathon or a Wednesday brunch.
Real love isn’t always focused on chasing the “high” that comes with romance, but also creating a stable routine that forms the foundation of your relationship.
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Couples who truly care for each other aren’t worried about being likeable or agreeable all the time.
If they have a difference of opinion, they can handle the fact that they don’t see eye-to-eye on it - especially when it comes to “dealbreaker” kind of topics.
More importantly, they can give their HONEST thoughts on the matter, even if it’s the polar opposite of what the other person believes.
Someone who’s more interested in a one-shot kind of deal (rather than being in it for the long run) isn’t going to risk rocking the boat.
He’ll be in politician mode, saying and doing everything to keep the good times rolling.
He’s thinking, “What’s the point of being honest about it if it’s going to piss her off?”
But a man in love isn’t as worried about the ups and downs, or the disagreements…
…because he’s more interested in knowing the REAL you…
…even if it means having to iron out the kinks.
He knows it’s a messy process, but he doesn’t mind.
Amanda, a friend of mine was telling me about her husband, Donnie:
“You know, at first I thought he was kind of a jerk for being so straight up with me. But he always respected me even though we disagreed on something.”
Then she added, “And if I messed up in some way, he called me out on it without making me feel bad. I’d get mad at Donnie before, but now I respect him for not just telling me what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to.”
We all know relationships are about give and take, but a guy in love is way more interested in GIVING than taking.
And when he gives, you’re 100% sure there’s no strings attached. He does it because he wants to, and it doesn’t matter how much he gets back in return.
Real love doesn’t keep score, so your guy isn’t going to bring up the time he waited half an hour because you had a last-minute emergency at work, or that he had to cancel poker night with the guys to see you.
Superficial relationships usually have self-serving agendas (i.e. sex, money, bragging rights).
When a guy is more concerned about having the favor returned, you’ll feel it …
…even if he doesn’t say something like, “I did this for you, now what are you going to do for me?”
Furthermore, a guy who isn’t really in love tends to be more selfish about his preferences.
He’ll likely insist on the stuff he likes rather than asking what you want.
It could be small stuff like where to eat, which movie to watch, or if you prefer the window or aisle seat on the plane.
It could also be things on a larger scale, like deciding where the relationship’s headed.
Fickle (a.k.a. Fake) love doesn’t really do well with making room for compromise, and couples are likely to split over this.
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You can tell a guy’s in love with you if he’s trying to imply that you’re “different” from other women.
He’ll make you feel special - it’s as if you’re the only one that exists in his world.
Men interested in a serious, committed relationship are looking for that one girl who stands above the rest.
And if he thinks you’re The One, he WILL drop some hints to let you know.
Chances are he’ll be indirect about it because men often have trouble expressing themselves emotionally.
Feelings aren’t as familiar territory to them as it is for women (although there are exceptions of course).
That’s why it’s a bit of a challenge for him to untangle something as complex as LOVE.
So he’ll try to let you know by saying something along the lines of “You’re not like other women” or “I’ve never met anyone like you.”
Someone who doesn’t feel as strongly for you won’t ever approach this topic.
That’s because he’s not as focused - or I might even say “obsessed” – with you.
Most women have a little trouble figuring this one out.
But if you pay attention to his actions, there may be clues that he’s not just in it for the physical intimacy.
If he’s constantly doing big AND small stuff for you, it’s his way of letting you know about this true feelings.
A lot of guys are more of doers than tellers when it comes to love.
Also, chances are it’s the real deal if he’s taking note of the small details about you and putting them to good use later on.
Maybe he knows how much you’re into badly made horror movies, for instance.
Then he’ll surprise you with a couple of tickets for a midnight screening of that cult classic you were telling him about the other week.
All this means your happiness is important to him…
…and any guy worth being with doesn’t feel 100% like a man if he’s not doing enough to take care of you.
A guy who doesn’t care, won’t bother remembering those vital pieces of information. And he won’t lift a finger to make you happy unless it benefits him in some way.
True Love Sign #8: He’s part of your life – and not just the fun parts
Another way to tell he’s in love with you if he’s going out of his way to be part of your world.
You might notice him trying to find out what you love doing, then tag along even though he’s not into it himself.
He’ll also be more than happy to meet the other people in your life because he wants to know you better.
Being with your friends and seeing you in action helps him understand what makes you tick.
A guy who’s only interested in doing the deed won’t be interested at all in seeing this other side of you.
It doesn’t serve him in any way, and he doesn’t need to take the relationship past sleeping with you.
Fake love crumbles when things get tough. He won’t muster the energy to get to know your passions and interests, and doesn’t care about the people important to you.
Doing this takes time and effort. Whether or not he goes through this trouble is the real yardstick of his feelings for you.
If he’s willing to make sacrifices that he could have very well avoided…
…and he doesn’t stop trying even when things aren’t always great between you…
…then you’d better hold on to him tight.
This points to the fact that he’s tenacious in the face of adversity, which is more than I can say for the Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Ma’am kind of guys out there.
Whether you’ve just been seeing a guy, or you’ve known him for a long time, it’s never a good sign if it just seems like he’s phoning it in.
Maybe he used to show the signs that he’s got a solid commitment to you, but now you’re not so sure about your future with him.
It’s often hard to pinpoint exactly why men pull away all of a sudden.
But you don’t have to panic if your relationship’s going through this phase. There is a way to overcome the wall that men put up when they don’t feel that fire anymore.
What you need to do is understand how men think and get a good grasp of what makes them leave.
This video explains how to get around the problem of his emotional unavailability, and to make sure he doesn’t ever think of leaving. [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=menpullawaywom&id=YourTracking]
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By Slade Shaw
Author of Why Men Pull Away <= [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=menpullawaywom&id=YourTracking]
“If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.” - Oprah Winfrey
In our hyperconnected world, people tend to throw around words that don’t hold much weight.
With social media in particular, a lot of folks often post stuff that doesn’t have much in the way of value.
They’re either superficial (like cat videos or memes), or spout empty platitudes that pay lip service.
And when it comes to relationships – or ones that have yet to get off the ground – people often say things they don’t necessarily mean.
A guy might tell you that he’s in love with you, but his actions don’t quite match up to his words. Or he could be, in fact, falling hard for you, but can’t find the words to say it.
Why is reading a guy’s signs such a tricky business?
Why can’t he just drop the whole mixed signals act and be straight up with how he really feels about you?
You’ve probably met and dated a handful guys, so you know what I’m talking about.
And I can totally understand if you’re feeling a little jaded by men who can’t seem to get it together and be honest about their feelings.
Well, let me help you with that and give you the REAL signs that a guy’s super serious about you – and worth waiting for.
Ok, so today you’re going to find out if a guy loves you - or if you should move on…
…but let me get something important out of the way real quick.
You see, women talk about mixed signals all the time when they’re trying to figure out where they stand with a Potential Someone.
But here’s what I always tell them: there’s NOTHING “mixed” about a guy’s signals.
Everything he does - and doesn’t do - is a clear indication of what’s really going on in that head of his.
And a lot of times, his words won’t have as much weight as his ACTIONS.
When the connection is there, and you already know you’re bonkers for each other, saying those three words is just icing on the cake.
It’s wonderful to hear him drop the “L” word on you – but they’ll only confirm what your HEART already knew long before.
So now you’re probably telling me, “What do you think I am, some sort of psychic?”
“Surely you don’t expect me to open his mind like a book and ‘already know’ before he opens his mouth?”
I hear you – and that’s why it’s time to give you the Top 10 Ways To Tell He’s Got It Bad For You:
Relax, you don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to crack the mystery of his heart.
Most guys are not going to tell you about his feelings upfront (surprise, surprise), but it’s not because they’re trying to toy with your emotions.
It’s more of the fact that a lot of men aren’t big on expressing themselves emotionally.
I know a lot of guys who have trouble with this. They were raised to think that opening up and talking about this stuff isn’t really a useful (or masculine) trait to have.
And sadly, it’s made it hard for them to talk about something as difficult as feelings...
…which makes professing their LOVE for you an even BIGGER challenge.
But nonetheless, it’s not that hard to decode the real meaning behind his somewhat cryptic statements.
You just need to ask yourself a couple of important questions - and the answer will reveal itself soon enough:
It’s likely he’ll try to mask it with humor or act nonchalant about it.
But if there’s that unmistakable spark of affection beneath it, he’s probably not putting you in the Friend Zone anytime soon.
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Yup, the eyes are windows to the soul and all that.
But don’t get all clinical and start measuring the diameter of his pupils. That would be weird…
Instead, think about the way he looks at you.
Is he mesmerized by your mere presence?
His eyes should be telling you, “You’re too good to be real…yet here you are.”
And is he constantly stealing glances at you? When you sneak a peek at your guy, do you catch him staring at you – then quickly looking away?
Guys are visual creatures, as the saying goes. If he likes what he sees, he’ll have a hard time tearing his eyes away.
A guy in love isn’t going to let his work or any other stuff he has going on to get in the way of seeing you.
No matter how full his plate gets, he’ll always squeeze in some “we time” with you. You won’t hear him making half-baked excuses that “things are crazy at work” or “I’m kind of busy right now.”
That’s the thing about a man who’s into you: he’ll move mountains to clear space in his week for you, and it SHOWS.
And even if he’s super busy at the moment, he’ll always let you know what’s going on with him.
He’ll never make you feel like he’s gone off the grid and keep you updated when he can see you again.
You know what I mean by this if you’ve ever had a close friend who “tells it like it is”…
…and doesn’t tell you what you want to hear, but what you NEED to hear.
When a guy truly loves you, he understands what makes you tick.
He knows BOTH your great and not-so-great qualities…and yet he STILL thinks you’re the greatest person he’s met.
And if he sees that you’re not being the best you can be, this guy won’t be afraid to point it out.
But he’s not going to be condescending or a jerk about it. He’ll be more likely to tease you, bust your chops and give you “a hard time” rather than actually making you feel bad.
I mentioned early that it’s a good sign when he makes you feel important. Another part of that is him going out of his way to do stuff together with you.
This goes beyond moving important stuff in his calendar to see you.
The operative word here is “together”.
If he’s trying to create a DEEPER bond by way of a regular ROUTINE, that’s something you shouldn’t ignore.
Maybe he’s taking the initiative to set up weekly activities like weekend coffee at his favorite hangout, or taking you along to his book club meeting to see if you might dig it.
This is him moving from “single mode” to a I-think-I-want-to-get -serious-with-this-girl mindset.
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When you don’t know where you stand with someone, the way he acts and talks puts you on edge. You can’t put your finger on it, but you know he’s the flaky type.
Not with this guy. Everything he says and does points to the fact that he’s not going anywhere.
There’s nothing ambiguous about him, especially with the way he makes you feel.
Whether it’s his choice of words (as indirect as they may be), his body language or the general vibe he gives off…
…you just know he wants to be on board – no ifs, ands or buts about it.
We all have a tendency to be a little self-centered from time to time, and that’s ok.
But if a guy who loves you, you can see how much he’s willing to meet you halfway with a lot of things.
For instance, he’s not going to insist on eating at that new Asian seafood restaurant that’s been getting good Yelp reviews if you’re not feeling it.
And even though he’s not a Greek cuisine kind of guy, he’s cool about eating there because your preferences matter to him.
That’s just the kind of man he is.
He knows relationships are a matter of give and take, which is why you’ve got as much say in it as he does.
You probably don’t want an overeager puppy of a guy waiting on hand and foot for your every need - that would be a little scary…
But you do want someone who’s naturally attuned to your inner state and knows when something’s off.
You might not even say anything, but he knows when to swoop in and take action.
He’ll ask if you want anything when he goes on a coffee run, offer you a ride to work before running his own errands, or even organize your DVD collection alphabetically.
Whatever it is, he’s working overtime to make sure everything’s fine and dandy in your world.
If a man’s in love, he LOVES knowing he gets to take care of you in the way he knows how.
John Gottman, founder of the Gottman Institute and author of “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work”, has literally spent decades observing couples up close to understand how relationships work.
In his research, he’s found that the strongest couples make an effort to know each other’s inner worlds.
He calls this as having “Love Maps”, which is basically a detailed knowledge of what’s going on with your partner.
And it’s easy to tell when a guy is trying to create his love map for you, whether you’ve known him for years or just getting to know him.
According to Gottman, if he cares enough to know the “little” things about you, it’s a sign of a healthy relationship.
This includes stuff like your favorite place to eat, your greatest rival at work, your idea of the perfect job, your biggest dream, your best friends and so on.
When you tell him about these things, naturally picks up on these little bits and pieces and saves them for future reference. He does this because he knows it makes up the amazing and unique person you are.
Does your man have a certain tenacity to him? Is he the type who doesn’t give up when he hits a roadblock in life?
Would you even say he’s a little stubborn?
It’s easy to brush this off as a part of his masculine identity, but it may run deeper than you think.
This quality could also be a promising sign if it carries over into the way he deals with you, and your relationship.
You might have some past issues or baggage you’ve picked up from your ex…
…or your differences with your guy are starting to bubble to the surface…
…or maybe he’s going through some of his own stuff while trying to spend time with you.
These challenges are totally par for the course for any relationship.
So if these things don’t phase him - and he’s more than willing to power through them – well then, you’ve got a keeper on your hands!
Now, if you’re seeing a couple of these signs in him, he might just be a really swell guy.
It could be that he’s awesome to everyone and only sees you as one of his friends.
However, if he’s checking off MOST of those boxes (like six or more), then you should be seriously thinking about your future with him…
…because he’s probably thinking THAT way about you.
Then there’s the other possibility that you’re not seeing any of these. There might be moments when it might seem like there’s a glimmer of hope, but it’s very faint.
Most of the time, he’s acting lukewarm towards you at best. If that’s the case, DON’T throw in the towel just yet!
Some men need a little more gentle prodding and encouragement than others.
If your gut is telling you there’s a connection between you and Mr. Slightly Dense - and you’re worried he might PULL AWAY for good…
…then it’s time to seal the deal before he leaves forever:
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By Slade Shaw
Author of Why Men Pull Away <= [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=menpullawaywom&id=YourTracking]
“I once had a thousand desires. But in my one desire to know you, all else melted away.”
- Rumi
Rita, a massage therapist from San Diego, was fresh from a breakup when she met Henry.
Her ex walked out on her without warning after five whole years of being together. So, she was keen on starting over with her new guy.
She’d only been seeing Henry for a couple of months, but she knew he was different from the guys she’d been seeing during the short time she became single.
Several dates later, everything was going great…
…until, well, they weren’t.
Henry was super affectionate and constantly updating Rita with what he was up to. If he wasn’t sending funny messages throughout the day, he’d fire off a quirky picture with a silly caption.
But then the communication slowed down to the point Rita had to text him a few times before he’d send a half-hearted reply. She practically had to beg him to make plans before they could go out again.
Henry’s behavior left Rita scratching her head in confusion. What made matters worse that her old fears of being left hanging in the air started to bubble to the surface.
She thought to herself, “Who is this guy texting me lukewarm ‘ok’s…and what has he done with the real Henry?”
It’s pretty ironic that someone who has a job like Rita’s would have a hard time keeping a guy’s interest, isn’t it?
Ok, kidding aside, there are some things a woman can do to make sure her guy doesn’t ever get bored or think about leaving.
And most women think that he needs to feel a certain way all the time, like being head over heels IN LOVE 24/7.
But the truth is that romantic love ebbs and flows over time. Emotions (and people) evolve in a relationship, and it’s not about constantly being in a lovestruck state for years and years.
Those rose-colored glasses will come off at one point, and a deeper, more mature kind love will blossom in your relationship.
You can help that natural process move along if you give him the signs that you’re a solid partner.
And that starts with creating a stable, grounded relationship that can get through the roughest patches and stay generally positive throughout.
If this climate exists between you two, he’ll stick around no matter how long (or short) you’ve been together.
You just need to cultivate the right habits to make this happen:
You see, the hottest relationships are all about push and pull. This is a dynamic where a person pushes their partner into making them feel attractive, desired and the most amazing person they’ve met.
Then the person doing the pushing withdraws a bit – or pulls away - so that they reverse roles with their partner. This way, the hunter becomes the hunted.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Sometimes, you might push too hard that your guy feels smothered. Or he might give up and lose interest if you play “hard to get” too much.
So, it’s a rather delicate balance to achieve. But when it’s done right, it’s tons of FUN.
Here are a few ways to create this dynamic:
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If you want your man to stay in the game, take the initiative by setting the bar.
Show him the same behavior you’d like to see from him. Having his back is a good way to do that.
A guy needs to know that you appreciate and cherish who he is now, and who he’s capable of being in the future. This makes him feel accepted and secure in the knowledge that you’re rooting for him.
That means he doesn’t have to hold back some part of himself because he has no reason to. He knows he can be himself, including being vulnerable around you.
And when he can let his guard down with you, it’s a huge sign of TRUST, which is the building block of any successful relationship.
A guy is more likely to stay when his woman knows how to make him feel connected to her.
You can do this by having a good layout of his world. There are a lot of things that occupy his thoughts and make up who he is.
So the more you’re aware of this, the more he’ll know that you care about him as a WHOLE.
Sad to say, but a lot of men bail because they feel their partner is more concerned about filling THAT role in her life, rather than seeing them as a person.
That said, try to familiarize yourself with the following:
Oftentimes a guy is afraid that he can’t be honest about his thoughts or opinions with his girl.
He’s worried she’s going to freak out or get into a screaming argument about it.
(Most of the time, in that order.)
Worse, a lot of men have been burned by past partners who tell them it’s ok to be honest…but proceed with said behavior.
To a guy, that’s like asking him to walk through a door…
…with Jason from Friday the 13th waiting with a chainsaw on the other side.
Admittedly, it takes a certain level of maturity to get to a place where you can accept your differences without attacking each other.
And to be perfectly honest, guys are also guilty of this one, too. But to them though, this is a particularly sore spot.
So, if you’re able to handle his opinions and not fly off the handle, he’ll feel more safe around you.
“Well, wait a minute,” you might say. “What about MY needs? Do you expect me to live to please him? Isn’t that one-sided??”
Listen, I get you. No one in their right mind would expect to do ALL the work while the other person sits back and eats their proverbial cake.
If he’s self-centered and makes the relationship all about him, you shouldn’t waste your time on that kind of man. Fair enough, right?
But if you’re with a swell guy (and I’m guessing that he is), your happiness is on his priority list. It’s in every decent guy’s DNA to make sure of that.
And going back to what I said before about setting the bar, a man also loves a woman who can meet him halfway on this.
So build on the habit of getting to know him better, then use that knowledge to give him what he needs.
When you have a good grasp of what he likes and doesn’t like, it’s easy to do little things that make him feel special and valued.
Stuff like his favorite movies, top food choices, interests and hobbies will give you a good idea of the things you can do for him.
The more personalized your acts of kindness are, the bigger effect they’ll have on your man.
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I said earlier that you shouldn’t let your passions, social life and career slide because they make you the woman he loves.
And the other side of that coin is taking care of yourself on a more basic level - mainly your looks and well-being.
Now, I’m not saying he shouldn’t do the same…
…I just mean that you should do your part no matter what.
Again, it’s on him if he’s not meeting you halfway.
But here’s the thing: men are NOT after perfection or supermodel-like features in a long-term partner. Deep inside, they know that only gets your foot in the door.
In the bigger scheme of things, he just wants to know you’re making the EFFORT.
That’s it.
He just needs to know you care about looking good around him, and caring about yourself in general.
So, that means being on top of the big three: Fitness, Health and Fashion.
Look at it this way - you’re going to have to do this whether you’re single or in a relationship.
So it’s better to be up to scratch on this stuff - and get a serious partner out of it in the process!
Of course I’m going to talk about this. I might sound a little harsh about this, but the sexual component is a non-negotiable in your relationship.
Otherwise, you might end up with a good friend instead of a romantic partner.
So, make him feel like he’s the hottest guy you’ve met.
He knows full well he’s no Brad Pitt (but good on you if he does look like him), but it still matters to him that you DESIRE him that way.
Men want to be WANTED, just like you do. And when you only have eyes for each other – he won’t look elsewhere.
For starters, don’t be afraid to get tactile with him even when you’re not doing the deed. Hold his hand in public, touch his arm often and give him a kiss before parting ways.
As for the main event, communicate your desires to him when you’re in the heat of the moment.
Tell him when he’s doing it right, get a bit vocal and compliment him on his masculinity.
As far as the bigger picture’s concerned, guys aren’t after the perfect partner or relationship.
They’re more interested in someone who’s just as on board as they are – and more importantly, reassures them that they’re committing to the RIGHT girl.
Once your guy knows he’s making the right choice by being with you, you won’t have to worry about where you stand with him.
But if you’re doing everything possible to keep your man interested and it STILL seems like he’s slipping away, you shouldn’t blame yourself.
Every guy is different, and he has his reasons for withdrawing that have nothing to do with you.
And if you want to know the REAL reason why men pull away – and how to STOP your guy from leaving…
…you need to watch my presentation that explains it ALL – Click Here [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=menpullawaywom&id=YourTracking]
By Slade Shaw
Author of Why Men Pull Away <=[Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=menpullawaywom&id=YourTracking]
“Your body is away from me, but there is a window open from my heart to yours.”
- Rumi
Remember the last time you felt a powerful longing for that special someone?
Whether you’ve only known him for a while, or you’re in a long-term relationship with him…
…if he matters to you, being away from him is painful.
But how do you make him feel the SAME?
Suzanne, a preschool teacher from Sacramento, met Patrick through a mutual friend.
They went out a few times over the last few months, and they seem to be getting along fine. However, something told Suzanne that he’s not that into it as she is.
She shared, “I was always the one who texted him first. It would take him a couple of hours to reply, and it’d be like that the whole day.”
“Every time I’d try and reach out - like sending him a funny picture or video – I wouldn’t get much of a reaction out of him,” Suzanne added.
It was a bit frustrating for her because she really thought Patrick was a great guy, but didn’t feel like he missed Suzanne enough.
And it was mostly Suzanne who made the effort to plan things so they could go out again.
It got to a point where she started to think he was slipping away.
That was when she decided to do something about it.
“If I was going to lose him, I might as well try a few things to see if it would get him back,” Suzanne said.
After she made a few changes, it did make a difference.
Patrick started replying right away, and he was the one who texted first thing in the morning.
If he wasn’t sending Suzanne sweet messages throughout the day, he was making plans to see her.
And when they got together again, he finally told Suzanne what she wanted to hear:
“Hey, I really missed you.”
For a lot of women, everything seems fine and dandy when they’re with their guy.
The tricky part is when they start spending time away from each other. There’s the risk of him drifting off and losing interest.
And the problem is that these women go about it the wrong way. They think that have to pull some attention-grabbing stunt like going on social media and playing the jealousy game.
Chances are he’s not going to fall for the “Look at me with these other guys on Facebook” trick.
It’s going to backfire and it won’t make him think about you more.
A better way is to give him hints and reminders that you’re someone worth thinking about 24/7.
With a little finesse, you can make him long for you like no other woman has.
Oversharing is one of the biggest turn-offs for a guy. I can’t tell you how many times women have shot themselves in the foot with this one mistake!
This applies more to someone you’re just getting to know. And if you think he might be the The One, you’ll be tempted to open up to him.
I’ve noticed that women do this to strengthen their bond with a guy as quickly as possible.
It’s a big mistake though, because trying to rush things with a guy emotionally is not a good recipe for romance.
And trying to fast-track that connection with him is likely to freak him out.
Kevin, a lawyer from Florida, once told me, “Everything was going great with this girl Tiffany whom I asked out to dinner. But then she started talking about her exes. I nearly choked on my steak when she told me about…the things she used to do with them. I don’t know what her deal was, and the only reason I didn’t sneak out the bathroom window was because they didn’t have one!”
You’re probably not as explicit as Tiffany when it comes to personal details (I hope!), but you get the idea.
Avoid talking about the touchy, personal areas of your life for now. If ever you wander into that territory, don’t give detailed answers and change the subject.
There’s no need to fudge the facts, but you don’t need to beat him over the head with it, either.
There’s plenty of time for that stuff later on. For now, give him some room to wonder about what makes you tick!
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Of course, you want him to love you for who you are, and not just for what you look like.
If he only liked your body and nothing else, what kind of a relationship would that be?
But having said that, the way you present yourself STILL matters.
I don’t care if you’ve known the guy for 3 weeks or 3 decades. If you stop caring about your looks and all that other basic stuff, it sends the wrong message.
I’ll share a little secret with you - 99% of the men I know don’t want a supermodel for a partner.
They just need to know that she’s not going to trade her flattering outfits for a ratty shirt and sweatpants…
…stop going to the gym…
…or think hygiene is overrated.
I mean, even if someone like Brad Pitt dressed like a slob, you probably wouldn’t like him either, right?
(Ok, maybe that wasn’t the best example…but you know where I’m going with this.)
So, stay on top of your game. Choose the right wardrobe and makeup (as much or as little of it as you need) to underscore your femininity.
Let your clean, fresh appearance do the talking. Care about what you eat and burn those calories.
You don’t need to be perfect (because NO one is), and it’s not a prerequisite for making him miss you.
The point is to look good and more importantly, FEEL GOOD about yourself.
He’ll feel that confidence radiating from your whole body. And THAT’S what will keep him coming back for more.
As much as you want him to want you, you should always keep the long game in mind.
As we talked about earlier, a little intrigue is healthy in a relationship.
It makes him want to pursue you, and put in the work to win you over.
Men absolutely love a woman who’s up for a challenge. There’s a lot at stake when it comes to dating, but you still need to make it a FUN game for him.
Don’t give him what he wants all the time, and don’t smother him with sweetness.
Maybe on some days you’re extra affectionate (whether it’s face-to-face or through texts/emails/etc.)…
…then other times, you’re very friendly BUT platonic towards him.
Just when he thinks, “I’ve got this in the bag”, you come out of nowhere and play mental judo with him.
Oh, how guys love/hate this one!
Trust me, as a guy, I love being TEASED.
Bear in mind however, he needs to know he’s still in the game and that this will eventually lead somewhere.
Keep it light, playful and good-natured so that he sticks around and thinks about you.
An awesome one, that is.
I don’t know about other guys, but I’m not sure how to feel about a woman who’s obviously not doing much aside from waiting for me to call her.
Men actually don’t like it when you’re TOO available for them.
It’s kind of like playing chess with someone…
How would you feel if the other person suddenly yelled out, “Checkmate, you got me!” even before you made the first move?
It wouldn’t be any fun, right?
Again, it’s all about CHALLENGE.
And living a happening, interesting life is one way to make your guy feel the bittersweet pain of your absence.
Don’t go on the ol’ social media machine and post pictures of you at a party…
…while you’re spending your free time watching “Sex and the City” reruns in bed with a bag of chips.
(Do women actually do that? If not, just insert your sedentary activity of choice.)
Live your life from a genuine place and invest your time in doing things that help you GROW.
And sometimes, that means you’ll have to hold off on seeing him (which is way different from dropping off the face of the earth) because you’ve already made plans before he asked you.
Women who are totally engaged with their lives effortlessly project a grounded, mature (read: NOT boring), yet fascinating personality.
When he sees how much fun you’re having from doing the things you’re passionate about…
…he’ll want to gatecrash the party and get in on the action!
He’ll be like, “She looks cool. I can totally see myself hanging out with her. Bet she’s amazing in bed, too.”
(Whoops, did I just say that? But it’s true...)
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Fun has been a recurring theme in this article, and for good reason.
Men don’t want to be around someone who brings down their energy. We’re driven, competitive, and we like people who lift us up.
And it’s the same with a romantic partner: no one likes a party pooper.
Look, I know you can’t be Pollyanna and spout platitudes of sunshine and happiness all the time. We all have our bad days.
Nevertheless, it’s important to him that you have a generally positive attitude - and not walk around with a dark cloud hanging over your head.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
- “Do I find myself complaining a lot? Do I rant on social media every time something bad happens - or comment on every piece of bad news out there?”
- “When I’m with my guy, do I talk crap about my co-workers, relatives and friends?”
- “Do I try to see the best in people and situations? Or do I tend to assume the opposite?”
I’m not saying that you’re a miserable person, but it does help to do a little self-reflection and awareness – especially when you’re around your guy.
Nope, I don’t mean cutting off all contact and see how he reacts.
Playing hard to get to an extent is fine, but it isn’t about manipulating his emotions or making him feel bad.
So all I’m asking is that you don’t broadcast every single thing you’re doing.
He doesn’t need to know what you’re having for lunch, or how Linda from Marketing hogged the floor during the office meeting.
Social networking sites are a bit to blame because it adds to the “Gimme my 15 minutes” culture.
And technology in general is making it way TOO easy for us to bombard other people with the mundane aspects of our lives.
This special guy of yours isn’t your best friend or mother. He’s perfectly fine wondering a little what you’re up to.
In fact, it’s the perfect way to avoid making him feel crowded. Give him the headspace to think about you, rather than trying too hard to insert yourself in his thoughts.
Ever heard the expression “stick the landing”?
It’s when an athlete finishes a move in style (like in gymnastics) and strikes a cool pose – often to thunderous applause.
In dating, you can do the same and leave a strong impression in a guy’s mind. That way, he’ll be counting the minutes until he sees you again.
Here are a few ways to do this:
After your date, he’ll keep replaying that wonderful experience in his head over and over again.
Remember when Netflix wasn’t a thing yet and you had to wait a whole week to see the next episode?
I kinda miss that, and I actually liked cliffhangers because it gave me something to look forward to.
Plus, it was nice to be able to digest what I just watched. Nowadays, we’re overindulging ourselves by binge-watching the whole thing till our eyes glaze over.
In the same way, you’ve got to pace yourself so he doesn’t get sick of you. That’s the whole point of the game.
But if you’ve been doing most of what we’ve just talked about and he’s STILL pulling away…
…there might be something more serious going on here.
A lot of women struggle with this problem, and they’re often clueless why they can’t stop their man from slipping through their fingers.
However, you don’t have to feel powerless about this situation.
There’s still hope and you can start by learning about Why Men Pull Away in this shocking video: [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=menpullawaywom&id=YourTracking]
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