Hi {!firstname_fix},
A good friend of mine, Slade Shaw (one of the world's leading female attraction experts), has a FREE 6 part mini course about how to attract and keep high quality women.
I've just finished reading it and I can confirm that it is packed full of killer information. I highly recommend that you download and read it for yourself ASAP:
==> https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=attractwomenmen&id=YourTracking
In particular you'll learn how the mind of women works ... and how to use this knowledge to your advantage!
It's a relatively short read but it is packed full of information that I bet you never know about women and the secrets of how to make sure they are fascinated by YOU:
==> https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=attractwomenmen&id=YourTracking
Enjoy!
[YOUR NAME]
Hi {!firstname_fix},
Imagine this... No more awkward silences around hot women, no more failed efforts at flirting.
Imagine if you found it easy to talk to women in such a way that sexual tension and chemistry gets built up between the two of you?
Go watch this short video, it's packed with amazing tips on how the female mind works, and how to talk to women:
==> https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=conchmen&id=YourTracking
BTW This video won't be up for long, so make sure you check it out ASAP. It's that important.
You'll finally understand why hot women lose interest in you, why they fantasize about other types of guys, and most importantly...
How to become the kind of guy who peaks her sexual intrigue, who she can't stop thinking about, who she actually chases after...
==> https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=conchmen&id=YourTracking
Enjoy!
[YOUR NAME]
P.S. It's scary stuff once you get inside the female mind, but I would hate for you to miss it. Get the video while it's still up:
==> https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=conchmen&id=YourTracking
Hi :-)
[NAME] here...
I receive this question or a variation of this question nearly every day...
"I've seen this girl that I really like, but I always seem to muck it up when I try to talk to her. Is there a way to spark her desire for me?"
And the truth is...
You can... if you understand "chemistry".
(Not science chemistry, but attraction chemistry:-)
So what IS chemistry?
Simply put...
Chemistry is the CONNECTION a couple feels between each other.
The stronger the connection... the more chemistry.
With me?
CONNECTION=CHEMISTRY
And here's the kicker...
And WHY you CAN help a woman fall in love with you...
A woman will ultimately CHOOSE to be with the man she feels the most chemistry with.
So isn't the real question?
How do you connect?
Deeply?
==> Here's Your Answer [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=conchmen&id=YourTracking]
http://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YOURCLICKBANKID&pg=conchmen
Rooting For Ya,
[YOUR NAME]
P.S. How strong is your connection with her? If it's not super-scorching, you must WATCH THIS :-) [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=conchmen&id=YourTracking]
Hi {!firstname_fix},
If you have an ex that you regret breaking up with, then I highly recommend you check out this video:
==> 3 ways to tell if she'd ever sleep with you again [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=2chmen&id=YourTracking]
It's by my MeetYourSweet's love expert Mirabelle Summers, and inside this revealing video, she takes you right inside the female mind and shows you 3 ways to tell if your ex would ever sleep with you again.
This video won't be for everyone. But if you do have an ex that you miss, want to get back together with, or at least want to sleep with again, then this is a MUST WATCH one of a kind video.
==> 3 ways to tell if she'd ever sleep with you again [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=2chmen&id=YourTracking]
(and what to do to make it happen).
Enjoy and have a great day!
[YOUR NAME]
Hi {!firstname_fix},
If you're wondering if your ex would ever have sex with you again, I highly recommend you take one of the 3 simple tests in this video:
==> 3 ways to tell if she secretly wants you back [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=2chmen&id=YourTracking]
If you don't do something soon, she's going to be out there, meeting other men, getting hit on, liking the attention...
And quickly forgetting about you.
If you want the dark and dirty truth about what's really happening inside your ex's mind right now, and how to get her back in love with you..
You have to see this video before it gets taken down:
==> Go here to watch the video [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=2chmen&id=YourTracking]
Did you know that girls lie too?
She may have lied to you (or be still lying right now) about what she really wants from you.
You're going to learn what she's unable (or unwilling) to tell you, why things broke up in the first place, and what it's going to take to win her back.
Find out what to do and say to win her back:
==> Video: Make your ex fantasize about you [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=2chmen&id=YourTracking]
Watch it now before it's too late.
Enjoy!
[YOUR NAME]
Hi {!firstname_fix},
What if you knew the secret to what goes on inside a woman's mind, and what secretly turns her on?
(This is stuff she would NEVER tell you to your face)
What if you knew how to plant a secret seed of desire in a woman's mind, regardless of whether she says she's not interested or not ready for a relationship...
... so that she would be able to see you as a guy she absolutely HAS TO HAVE...
Go watch this video to learn a simple secret to getting past a woman's defenses and making her see you as the one she can't live without.
==> Discover the #1 Secret To Making Her Crave You [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=getgirlmen&id=YourTracking]
In fact, when you apply the methods like my friend Greg did in this video, you can have an endless supply of sexy, smart women...
Or that one girl you've always wanted...
And she won't be able to keep her hands off you! ;)
==> You can have any woman you want (No lines and no magic tricks!) [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=getgirlmen&id=YourTracking]
Enjoy!
[YOUR NAME]
Hey {!firstname_fix},
What if I shared with you 5 simple techniques to turning any woman on, none of which require killer 6-pack abs or a big fat bank account?
==> 5 powerful secrets to turning any woman on [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=getgirlmen&id=YourTracking]
These secrets are not what you might expect, but they work shockingly well and teach you how to be the kind of guy women CRAVE.
No phony lines, and no magic tricks!
These secret techniques work for average guys, not just hollywood stars and high flyers.
Just imagine getting amazing amounts of attention from hot women you've always desired...
Or that one special girl you want to get into bed.
It's like turning on a switch inside her head, and it's going to change everything.
==> Find out what really turns a woman on [Link this to https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=getgirlmen&id=YourTracking]
Don't miss it.
Your friend,
[YOUR NAME]
Hey {!firstname_fix}.
If you want to be perceived as a MAN, and if you want to enjoy KILLER success with the ladies, 'confidence' is the key ingredient that converts daydreams into reality. ALL the famous 'lady killers' from the media to the movies are supremely confident - and that's no coincidence.
If this is something you'd like to get handled for yourself, then check this out:
https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=confmen&id=YourTracking
... and interestingly enough, 'confidence' just happens to be the subject of today's newsletter.
Today's newsletter is written by my good friend Slade Shaw. Enjoy!...
From: Slade Shaw
I recently got asked a question by one of my students:
"What if you're short and she prefers tall guys?"
The way I see it, confidence is one of those things that women often don't THINK ABOUT being attracted to. Ask a woman what she finds most desirable in a guy, and she might bring up things like height, humor, and a good career ... but she'll almost NEVER say anything about wanting a man with CONFIDENCE.
However, 'confidence' is one of those 'intangible' qualities that women don't tend to THINK about you having ... but they INSTANTLY PERCEIVE whether you have it or not. And whether that confidence is present or not becomes the lens through which EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT YOU is seen.
So a woman who says that she only likes tall guys might THINK that she only wants guys like that.
But really, if she were to meet a guy who fulfilled that criterion, but who didn't ALSO have CONFIDENCE, she very likely would feel no ATTRACTION for him whatsoever.
And that's when she'll start saying things like, 'I don't know, he seems great on paper ... but I'm just not FEELING it.'
Here's the interesting part.
If you are a confident guy - meaning, you have STRENGTH of personality and that it doesn't matter overly much to you what a woman thinks of you - then it LITERALLY CEASES TO MATTER, for her AND for you, whether you're tall, short, rich, poor, or whether you exterminate bugs for a living.
(No offense to exterminators ... they're good guys too.)
When you're able to free yourself from the shackles of CARING about WHAT WOMEN THINK OF YOU, a radical and quantum shift occurs as a NATURAL BYPRODUCT of this attitude.
Namely, that:
For example, a lot of guys are put off when a woman announces point-blank that she likes guys who have a certain quality that they themselves do not. Common 'likes' include muscles and height.
Both of these things are a 'big deal' for a most guys because they're not EASILY CHANGEABLE. There's not a lot you can do about your body composition or your height - at least, not quickly.
So when a woman says something like that, what should you do?
Does that mean that you now have 'no chance' with her?
Believe it or not: the answer is NO. This is a prime opportunity for you to demonstrate some hard-core leadership and PROVE to her that, actually, YOU know better than SHE does.
And what you know is, of course, that it's the FEELINGS she gets from guys who have those qualities that she really wants ... not just the qualities themselves.
What she's really saying is that she wants a STRONG and MASCULINE MAN.
So here's my suggestion: that you STOP caring about what women SAY they want. The bottom line is, they just don't know what they want until it happens. There are flat-out unattractive men everywhere with beautiful women on their arms - and they got those women by sheer strength of PERSONALITY.
So if you can make a woman feel a certain way by YOUR strength of personality, then you can literally overcome ANY predilection for material qualities whatsoever.
Accepting this fact is a little bit like figuring out an equation that most guys just DON'T GET.
There are 3 ways of looking at it.
Equation 1: caring about what women want + NOT having 'desirable qualities' that women consciously want = ongoing LACK of success.
Equation 2: caring about what women think + HAVING 'desirable qualities' that women consciously want = some initial success that's inevitably POISONED by a weakness of character and desire for validation, followed by a long slump into tepid mediocrity.
Equation 3: NOT caring about what women think + having desirable qualities OR NOT having them = radical, ongoing success with the women that YOU DESIRE.
Clearly, the mitigating factor is whether you have the confidence in yourself to prioritize what YOU THINK first and foremost. It all boils down to self-esteem.
Caring too much about what women think of you (translation: validation-seeking) is a BENCHMARK of 'unmanly men' who WANT to be wanted by women ... and who might even have those qualities that look good 'on paper' ... but who can never seem to CONVERT those 'on paper' qualities into ACTUAL TANGIBLE SUCCESS with women.
Women like manly men, right? Meaning, they like men who are strong, in control, and who don't beg and crawl for approval.
But many many MANY men are seriously intimidated by a woman whom they perceive to be attractive ... to the extent that they actually LOSE whatever veneer of 'coolness' and confidence that they usually possess, and INSTANTLY accede authority and right-of-refusal to HER.
And this is when that switch marked 'attraction' in her head gets turned permanently OFF, because you are instantly perceived as no longer being able to fulfill her most basic of needs in a potential partner ... namely, that you're a MAN.
You've gotta MAN UP.
So ... what about looks? What if you genuinely think that you're an unattractive guy?
Something that puts a big dent in the confidence of a lot of guys is the fact that they don't perceive themselves, deep down, as being the kind of guy that a quality woman would want.
So they end up thinking they've got to try and ACT confident, without really FEELING it.
Of course, this particular approach tends to lead to a big brick wall, because truly great women can sniff out inauthenticity ... and not only that, but they can ALSO usually put two and two together, and figure that, if you've got to 'act' confident, there must be a pretty good reason why you're not actually GENUINELY confident ...
... i.e. there must be something 'off' about you.
The idea that you're not PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE enough is something that a lot of guys get hung-up over.
And I think most guys would actually be OK with feeling 'average', or even LESS-than-average, looks-wise ... if it wasn't for those damn good-looking guys who have women all over them.
Or if they didn't have to overhear a couple of secretaries at the office water-cooler dribbling over how 'buff' some guy at the gym was.
It's this kind of stuff that gives men the idea that LOOKS are the primary determinant of success with women ... and it's what makes them think, 'I'm ugly. So I may as well not even bother.'
Bottom line is, most men wish on some level that they were better looking, because they want to know how it feels to turn heads and have it EASY with women.
And yeah, it's true. Looks definitely help.
BUT ... they don't matter NEARLY as much as you think they do - OR in the WAY that you think they do.
Let me explain.
It goes without saying that you've got to do the best with what you've got. But that's obvious.
What's NOT so obvious is that, as long as you're treating your body as if it's worth something, have got some personal style going on, and are meeting basic standards of hygiene, your actual LOOKS are not important.
Here's the deal: APPEARANCE matters ... LOOKS do NOT.
See the difference?
And of course, APPEARANCE matters because it's a benchmark of how well you treat yourself. If you're slopping around without an aesthetic care in the world, that's going to broadcast the idea that you can't (or won't) take care of yourself ... and if you can't take care of yourself, chances are that you can't take care of much else in your life.
In other words, you're not a 'together' kinda guy.
It's hopefully becoming clear here that AUTHENTICITY and CONFIDENCE are REALLY the issues at hand.
This is what I mean.
If you're taking good care of yourself because you happen to FEEL GREAT that way, and because you respect and value yourself - rather than as a 'tool' to get more attraction from females - then chances are, top-notch women are going to recognize that inherent confidence in you and be DRAWN to it.
And then, they'll be charmed by the 'cherry on top' personal-style thing you've ALSO got going on.
Of course, the reverse is also true. If you're trying to use looks as a shield to hide behind, and as a facade to prevent women from noticing that your PERSONALITY is actually not so hot, then that will be duly noted as well - and you may find that the women you DO attract tend to be the ones who are 'fixated' on exteriors.
Your motivations are like a 'set point' for the RESULTS that you end up getting.
Men tend to be pretty visual creatures. We need a woman to be physically attractive to us before we can feel attraction for her. So it makes sense - at least on a logical basis - for us to hold ourselves to the same standards.
But here's the deal: women don't actually care about looks nearly as much as you probably think they do.
Even if they SAY they want a man who looks a particular way, it's actually what's UNDER the looks that counts: namely, the ability to be SELF-VALIDATED. To be OK with how you look, to act like you're WORTH something, and to not try to overcompensate for any perceived 'flaws'.
Women are attracted, deep down, to men who AREN'T SEEKING THEIR APPROVAL. They want a strong, in-control MAN.
In real-life terms, this means that they don't want a guy who is worried about what they think, or whose confidence has a big ol' dent in it because he's balding on top or shorter than he'd like to be.
And they don't want a guy who comments on his 'bad points' or asks them if they think he's attractive or says, as she runs her hand over his stomach, 'I'm doing sit-ups and it will be flat in a month.'
Because this stuff all SCREAMS 'VALIDATION NEEDED HERE!'
If you have something that you don't like about yourself ... just be COOL about it. Don't mention it. Don't point it out. Don't apologize for it. And DEFINITELY don't ask her if she 'minds' or if it 'bothers her'.
If she's with you, it doesn't bother her. Don't make it an issue.
If you've got confidence in yourself, and you act like your quality is a given, and as if you have some pride in yourself and your own worth ... specifically, as if you have some VALUE ... then you're definitely being a MAN.
You're leading. And that's a good thing.
So ... what if you have some SERIOUS hangups about the way you look? What if you've got oozing acne, a bald patch that you're hideously self-conscious about, or Coke-bottle glasses held together with a band-aid over the nose?
Well, first of all, let me remind you that confidence is to a large extent about having PRIDE in yourself, which means taking good care of yourself inside and out. If you're not acting like a guy who treats himself with worth, you can't expect other people to see past that.
So yeah. Take that insecurity as the necessary foot in the butt that you need to DO something about any serious external 'issues' that you're hung up about. Go see a dermatologist, consider getting Lasik, and shave your head (balding isn't optional but shaven-headed is ... oh and by the way, it REEKS of confidence.)
And one other thing: I'm suggesting these 'developments' not because you NEED to do these things to be great with women (although it certainly will help.)
But let's talk turkey. Really, why sabotage your success if you don't have to?
And secondly, let's not forget about VISIBLY being a 'high value' guy, which means that you should never underestimate the importance of treating YOURSELF like you're worth something. Inside and out.
And thirdly ... most guys find it very hard to get past these 'issues' FOR THEMSELVES. It's not the acne or the glasses or the bald spot that turns women off ... it's the CONFIDENCE ISSUES that
these things give to the man who has them.
Before I go, here's that link again (check this out as soon as you can):
https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=confmen&id=YourTracking
I'll write again soon.
Be cool,
Slade Shaw
Hi {!firstname_fix},
A good friend of mine, Mirabelle Summers (one of the world's leading dating and attraction experts), has a life-changing 6 part mini course about how to attract and keep a great man.
I've just finished reading it and I can confirm that it is packed full of killer information, and it really changed how I think about men. I highly recommend that you download and read it for yourself ASAP:
==> https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=attractmenwom&id=YourTracking
In particular you'll learn how the minds of men work... and how to use this knowledge to your advantage!
It's a relatively short read but it is packed full of information that I bet you never knew about men and the secrets of how to make sure they are fascinated by YOU:
==> https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=attractmenwom&id=YourTracking
Enjoy!
[YOUR NAME]
Hey there, {!firstname_fix},
You must know that it's pretty difficult to judge what a guy's THINKING from the way he's ACTING.
Just about every woman I know - client or friend - has griped at some point about "guy talk" and how men frequently seem to actively mask their true intent with bizarre and misleading actions and behaviors.
Some of the most common complaints that I hear:
There are soooo many different ways that men inadvertently confuse us women!
And it's not just CONFUSION that's the issue here. In fact, some men can act in ways that actually TURN WOMEN OFF.
After all, who's actually attracted to a modern-day Don Juan, a self-deprecating bad flirt, or an 'I'm-above-it-all' King of Cool?
The saddest part? Most of these guys aren't even doing it on purpose. Usually, these behaviors are being used as an ego shield - something to hide their REAL personality (and insecurities) behind.
But does the average woman have any clue that this is what he's up to? Of course not!
She just gets confused, disgruntled, and - ultimately - discouraged by his apparent lack of interest, lack of subtlety, or cavalier approach to sexual love.
So how do you get a guy to drop the act and just be his REAL SELF? How do you get him to ditch the fa�ade and get authentic about who he really is - and what he really wants?
How are you supposed to figure him out, if he can't even be straight up about the most basic things??
Fortunately, the power IS in your hands. By including just a few tried-and-true methods in your bag of social tricks, you can set him at ease and get him to relax enough to reveal his truth.
(By 'his truth', I mean his sense of authenticity ... his real personality, who he REALLY is, and what he REALLY wants.)
Incidentally, being your authentic self is an INCREDIBLY attractive characteristic to possess. But it's not easy - most of us have been brought up to act and behave in a certain way. We've been taught to mask parts of ourselves that others might find unattractive.
When you're able to be your true, honest self, and embrace CLARITY in your personality and life, everything literally just seems to fall into place. Life becomes much easier - and you'll finally start attracting the kind of men who are prepared to love the REAL YOU.
I can point you towards a fantastic course that'll teach you how to attract the right kindof man for you, and make him love you, trust you,and ultimately commit to you
You'll find that course right here:
==> https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=getguywom&id=YourTracking
Let's take a look at the 3 main problem-male personas that women who are active on the dating scene face.
This is the guy who prides himself on his ability to insinuate himself into the pants of just about any woman he chooses.
He thinks that because he knows how to manipulate a woman into liking him, through using certain behaviors and patterns of speech, then he's "successful" with women - and with life in general. After all, he's living every guy's most primal dream: he can sleep with a different gorgeous woman every night of the week if he feels like it. (At least, this is what he tells his friends.)
You might hear this guy being referred to by his mates as a "pick-up artist".
He might have a "wing-man", somebody who he goes out picking up girls with.
This "wing-man" will frequently introduce his player friend in a rehearsed manner that promotes the player's "high value" as a man. For example, "Hey, this is my friend Brad. He dated Miss November. Nice!"
Or, "Check out this picture of Ashley's last girlfriend - how HOT is THAT?" (Cue carefully-chosen photograph of said player with a beautiful woman in a bikini.)
If the player is skilled, these little "routines" will be done in a way that skilfully, deliberately piques your curiosity. The average woman isn't expecting a man to have the nous to manipulate her so subtly - so she falls for the bait, every time.
The point of these 'player strategies' is to make you think that he's not affected by your own particular brand of beauty or charm ... that you're nothing special, and that, in fact, you'll be lucky to get him.
Through their literature, these PUAs have told him that, in order to get past YOUR "bitch-shield" that you naturally possess as an attractive woman, he has to demonstrate to you that you are nothing special to him.
Because you're used to being pursued by desperate, supplicating men (as the popular theory goes), this lack of interest will intrigue you, and you'll begin to wonder why he's not chasing after you.
Before you know it, you'll actually be chasing HIM - all because he didn't demonstrate any interest in you at first, and made it clear that plenty of other women are interested in him.
He's manipulated you. Another success for the PUAs.
But not if you're smart!
You can cut through all this crap by not playing along with his silly games. After all, you're not interested in dating a player (that is, a man who's interested in you for the CHALLENGE you present to him, not the woman that you are.)
You're interested in dating a real MAN - someone who's prepared to prove to you that he's interesting and worthy of your interest, but who is ALSO self-confident enough to require that YOU be interesting to HIM.
If you know a player, and you think he could be worth the effort - as in, he's not just some chump who knows how to seduce females, but a genuinely intelligent, creative man who's just headed in the wrong direction romantically - here's what you can do:
GIVE HIM ONE CHANCE, AND ONE CHANCE ONLY.
The moment a guy starts behaving in ways that you feel might be a trick to "get" you to feel or act a certain way ...
... for example, he might use the "Photo Routine", which is where he shows you a stack of 'holiday pics' interspersed with photos of himself posing with other beautiful women (goal: to get you to feel jealous, and see him as a desirable guy) ...
... or he might try to 'neg' you, which is where he recognizes that you are probably 'higher value' than him, and attempts to equalize your social status by subtly putting you down verbally (for example, telling you that you've got something in your ear when you don't) ...
Remember that the aim of his "player" behavior is to prove to you that HE is the 'catch' here - more than you. He wants to manipulate you into thinking that he's actually doing you a favor by allowing you the opportunity to become interested in him.
Why is he trying to manipulate you like this? To make it easier for him to hook up with you, of course. He thinks that if YOU think he's a real 'catch', you're not going to shoot him down. End of story.
He doesn't know that he doesn't need to act like this to get your attention.
If you keep cool and don't play into his games by becoming flustered, emotionally wrought, or jealous, then YOU keep the upper hand, YOU intrigue HIM, and YOU WIN.
This is the guy whose primary mission is to make you like him by making you laugh.
This is an admirable goal, and he's got one thing right - laughter is definitely the key to a woman's heart. If he can make you laugh, he's usually worth hanging out with. Kudos to him for figuring this out.
However, this particular humorist is making one huge mistake: he doesn't understand that, to get the girl, you need to couple HUMOR with RESPECT.
When you're dealing with a guy who laughs at himself, invites you to laugh along AT HIM, and uses inappropriate humor like scatology (toilet humor) to get you giggling, he's got a self-esteem issue.
He doesn't understand that you can have a woman in stitches ... but, if she's laughing AT you, all the humor in the world isn't going to unlock her romantic potential.
Guys who make this mistake are usually just really, really nervous. They want to impress you. They want to make you laugh, and they want you to like them.
Their nerves make them choose the 'easiest' route to this goal - CLOWNING AROUND.
What you need to do in order to allow his true self to shine through is to build up his self-esteem where you are concerned. You need to make it clear that he's a likable guy WITHOUT the use of inappropriate humor.
The best way to do this is to NOT call direct attention to his lack of humorous finesse (which would just make him MORE nervous) ...
... but to use a simple and highly effective technique known as "positive reinforcement training."
Ironically, this is a strategy that's actually been developed by animal trainers.
I'm not implying that men are like animals - but this 'training' method WORKS.
The concept is centered around REWARDING the behavior that you like (with the validation he's searching for - a giggle or a smile) and IGNORING the behavior that you don't like.
So, when he cracks a dumb joke, or tries to make you laugh at something that is not funny, don't force a laugh. Don't frown. Don't ask him why he thinks that's funny.
SIMPLY DO NOT REACT.
This is actually the most effective thing you can do. To this kind of guy, NO attention is much worse than NEGATIVE attention. So by ignoring his unfunny or inappropriate jokes, you're sending a clear message that that kind of behavior is unwanted... and won't help him get to know you better.
When you contrast the coldness of your withdrawal of attention with the pleasure he gets from your laughter reaction when he DOES do something worthy of a positive reaction (like making a genuinely funny joke, not making himself the butt of jokes)... he'll catch on very quickly.
POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT (reward what you like, ignore what you don't like) is what will help him to realize that it's his normal, relaxed, at-ease self that's attractive ... not his tense, jittery, clowning-around self.
Sometimes, it's hard to tell whether a guy genuinely isn't interested - or whether he's simply shy!
If you feel like there's a spark there, but you just can't seem to break past those boundaries, you need to suss out whether it's true indifference or just shyness that's raising the barriers.
The best way to do this is to get the bit between your teeth, and strike up a conversation with him.
Making this effort yourself, instead of waiting and hoping for HIM to do it, makes ALL the difference when it comes to figuring out what's behind his coolness.
If he's just shy, you'll need to give him a few moments to warm up. Have a couple of questions prepared beforehand in case he's a 'listener' rather than a 'talker' - and make sure they're open-ended questions (ones that can't be answered with a straight yes/no.)
Once you've asked him 3 questions or so, you're engaged in an official conversation - which is a prime opportunity for him to relax and see that his shyness isn't scaring you off, after all.
And if he's not loosening up and his demeanor's not changing? Then that means one thing: simply that he's not interested.
If he's a nice person, he'll still go along with the conversation - but don't be fooled into thinking that 'politeness' equals 'attraction'. All the conversation in the world won't make a bit of difference if that spark's missing - and trust me, you can tell when it's there and when it's not.
To learn how to cut to the chase and take the game-playing out of dating, you must take the time to look over Get a Great Guy Guide:
==> https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=getguywom&id=YourTracking
If in doubt, simply remember this basic fact: if he's attracted to you, YOU'LL FEEL IT.
I'll talk to you again soon!
[YOUR NAME]
Hey there, {!firstname_fix},
You must know that it's pretty difficult to judge what a guy's THINKING from the way he's ACTING.
Just about every woman I know - client or friend - has griped at some point about "guy talk"
and how men frequently seem to actively mask their true intent with bizarre and misleading actions and behaviors.
Some of the most common complaints that I hear: - They hang out in large, blokey groups while "on the pull", and indulge in chugging games, belching, and catcalling (while honestly believing that they're really trying hard to attract a woman.)
There are soooo many different ways that men inadvertently confuse us women!
And it's not just CONFUSION that's the issue here. In fact, some men can act in ways that actually TURN WOMEN OFF.
After all, who's actually attracted to a modern-day Don Juan, a self-deprecating bad flirt, or an 'I'm-above-it-all' King of Cool?
The saddest part? Most of these guys aren't even doing it on purpose. Usually, these behaviors are being used as an ego shield - something to hide their REAL personality (and insecurities) behind.
But does the average woman have any clue that this is what he's up to? Of course not!
She just gets confused, disgruntled, and ultimately - discouraged by his apparent lack of interest, lack of subtlety, or cavalier approach to sexual love.
So how do you get a guy to drop the act and just be his REAL SELF? How do you get him to ditch the fa�ade and get authentic about who he really is - and what he really wants?
How are you supposed to figure him out, if he can't even be straight up about the most basic things??
Fortunately, the power IS in your hands. By including just a few tried-and-true methods in your bag of social tricks, you can set him at ease and get him to relax enough to reveal his truth.
(By 'his truth', I mean his sense of authenticity ... his real personality, who he REALLY is, and what he REALLY wants.)
Incidentally, being your authentic self is an INCREDIBLY attractive characteristic to possess.
But it's not easy - most of us have been brought up to act and behave in a certain way. We've been taught to mask parts of ourselves that others might find unattractive.
When you're able to be your true, honest self, and embrace CLARITY in your personality and life, everything literally just seems to fall into place. Life becomes much easier - and you'll finally start attracting the kind of men who are prepared to love the REAL YOU.
I can point you towards a fantastic course that'll teach you how to attract the right kind of man for you, and make him love you, trust you, and ultimately commit to you
You'll find that course right here:
==> https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=getguywom&id=YourTracking
Let's take a look at the 3 main problem-male personas that women who are active on the dating scene face.
This is the guy who prides himself on his ability to insinuate himself into the pants of just about any woman he chooses.
He thinks that because he knows how to manipulate a woman into liking him, through using certain behaviors and patterns of speech, then he's "successful" with women - and with life in general. After all, he's living every guy's most primal dream: he can sleep with a different gorgeous woman every night of the week if he feels like it. (At least, this is what he tells his friends.)
You might hear this guy being referred to by his mates as a "pick-up artist".
He might have a "wing-man", somebody who he goes out picking up girls with.
This "wing-man" will frequently introduce his player friend in a rehearsed manner that promotes the player's "high value" as a man. For example, "Hey, this is my friend Brad. He dated Miss November. Nice!"
Or, "Check out this picture of Ashley's last girlfriend - how HOT is THAT?" (Cue
carefully-chosen photograph of said player with a beautiful woman in a bikini.)
If the player is skilled, these little "routines" will be done in a way that skilfully, deliberately piques your curiosity. The average woman isn't expecting a man to have the nous to manipulate her so subtly - so she falls for the bait, every time.
The point of these 'player strategies' is to make you think that he's not affected by your own particular brand of beauty or charm ... that you're nothing special, and that, in fact, you'll be lucky to get him.
Through their literature, these PUAs have told him that, in order to get past YOUR "bitch-shield"
that you naturally possess as an attractive woman, he has to demonstrate to you that you are nothing special to him.
Because you're used to being pursued by desperate, supplicating men (as the popular theory goes), this lack of interest will intrigue you, and you'll begin to wonder why he's not chasing after you.
Before you know it, you'll actually be chasing HIM - all because he didn't demonstrate any interest in you at first, and made it clear that plenty of other women are interested in him.
He's manipulated you. Another success for the PUAs.
But not if you're smart!
You can cut through all this crap by not playing along with his silly games. After all, you're not interested in dating a player (that is, a man who's interested in you for the CHALLENGE you present to him, not the woman that you are.) You're interested in dating a real MAN someone who's prepared to prove to you that he's interesting and worthy of your interest, but who is ALSO self-confident enough to require that YOU be interesting to HIM.
If you know a player, and you think he could be worth the effort - as in, he's not just some chump who knows how to seduce females, but a genuinely intelligent, creative man who's just headed in the wrong direction romantically - here's what you can do:
GIVE HIM ONE CHANCE, AND ONE CHANCE ONLY.
The moment a guy starts behaving in ways that you feel might be a trick to "get" you to feel or act a certain way ...
... for example, he might use the "Photo Routine", which is where he shows you a stack of 'holiday pics' interspersed with photos of himself posing with other beautiful women (goal: to get you to feel jealous, and see him as a desirable guy) ...
... or he might try to 'neg' you, which is where he recognizes that you are probably 'higher value'
than him, and attempts to equalize your social status by subtly putting you down verbally (for example, telling you that you've got something in your ear when you don't) ...
Remember that the aim of his "player" behavior is to prove to you that HE is the 'catch' here more than you. He wants to manipulate you into thinking that he's actually doing you a favor by allowing you the opportunity to become interested in him.
Why is he trying to manipulate you like this?
To make it easier for him to hook up with you, of course. He thinks that if YOU think he's a real 'catch', you're not going to shoot him down. End of story.
He doesn't know that he doesn't need to act like this to get your attention.
If you keep cool and don't play into his games by becoming flustered, emotionally wrought, or jealous, then YOU keep the upper hand, YOU intrigue HIM, and YOU WIN.
This is the guy whose primary mission is to make you like him by making you laugh.
This is an admirable goal, and he's got one thing right - laughter is definitely the key to a woman's heart. If he can make you laugh, he's usually worth hanging out with. Kudos to him for figuring this out.
However, this particular humorist is making one huge mistake: he doesn't understand that, to get the girl, you need to couple HUMOR with RESPECT.
When you're dealing with a guy who laughs at himself, invites you to laugh along AT HIM, and uses inappropriate humor like scatology (toilet humor) to get you giggling, he's got a self-esteem issue.
He doesn't understand that you can have a woman in stitches ... but, if she's laughing AT you, all the humor in the world isn't going to unlock her romantic potential.
Guys who make this mistake are usually just really, really nervous. They want to impress you.
They want to make you laugh, and they want you to like them.
Their nerves make them choose the 'easiest'
route to this goal - CLOWNING AROUND.
What you need to do in order to allow his true self to shine through is to build up his self-esteem where you are concerned. You need to make it clear that he's a likable guy WITHOUT the use of inappropriate humor.
The best way to do this is to NOT call direct attention to his lack of humorous finesse (which would just make him MORE nervous) ...
... but to use a simple and highly effective technique known as "positive reinforcement training."
Ironically, this is a strategy that's actually been developed by animal trainers.
I'm not implying that men are like animals but this 'training' method WORKS.
The concept is centered around REWARDING the behavior that you like (with the validation he's searching for - a giggle or a smile) and IGNORING the behavior that you don't like.
So, when he cracks a dumb joke, or tries to make you laugh at something that is not funny, don't force a laugh. Don't frown. Don't ask him why he thinks that's funny.
SIMPLY DO NOT REACT.
This is actually the most effective thing you can do. To this kind of guy, NO attention is much worse than NEGATIVE attention. So by ignoring his unfunny or inappropriate jokes, you're sending a clear message that that kind of behavior is unwanted... and won't help him get to know you better.
When you contrast the coldness of your withdrawal of attention with the pleasure he gets from your laughter reaction when he DOES do something worthy of a positive reaction (like making a genuinely funny joke, not making himself the butt of jokes)... he'll catch on very quickly.
POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT (reward what you like, ignore what you don't like) is what will help him to realize that it's his normal, relaxed, at-ease self that's attractive ... not his tense, jittery, clowning-around self.
Sometimes, it's hard to tell whether a guy genuinely isn't interested - or whether he's simply shy!
If you feel like there's a spark there, but you just can't seem to break past those boundaries, you need to suss out whether it's true indifference or just shyness that's raising the barriers.
The best way to do this is to get the bit between your teeth, and strike up a conversation with him.
Making this effort yourself, instead of waiting and hoping for HIM to do it, makes ALL the difference when it comes to figuring out what's behind his coolness.
If he's just shy, you'll need to give him a few moments to warm up. Have a couple of questions prepared beforehand in case he's a 'listener'
rather than a 'talker' - and make sure they're open-ended questions (ones that can't be answered with a straight yes/no.)
Once you've asked him 3 questions or so, you're engaged in an official conversation - which is a prime opportunity for him to relax and see that his shyness isn't scaring you off, after all.
And if he's not loosening up and his demeanor's not changing? Then that means one thing: simply that he's not interested.
If he's a nice person, he'll still go along with the conversation - but don't be fooled into thinking that 'politeness' equals 'attraction'.
All the conversation in the world won't make a bit of difference if that spark's missing - and trust me, you can tell when it's there and when it's not.
To learn how to cut to the chase and take the gameplaying out of dating, you must take the time to look over Get a Great Guy Guide:
==> https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=getguywom&id=YourTracking
If in doubt, simply remember this basic fact: if he's attracted to you, YOU'LL FEEL IT.
I'll talk to you again soon!
[YOUR NAME]
Hey there, {!firstname_fix},
You must know that it's pretty difficult to judge what a guy's THINKING from the way he's ACTING.
Just about every woman I know - client or friend - has griped at some point about "guy talk"
and how men frequently seem to actively mask their true intent with bizarre and misleading actions and behaviors.
Some of the most common complaints that I hear: - They hang out in large, blokey groups while "on the pull", and indulge in chugging games, belching, and catcalling (while honestly believing that they're really trying hard to attract a woman.)
There are soooo many different ways that men inadvertently confuse us women!
And it's not just CONFUSION that's the issue here. In fact, some men can act in ways that actually TURN WOMEN OFF.
After all, who's actually attracted to a modern-day Don Juan, a self-deprecating bad flirt, or an 'I'm-above-it-all' King of Cool?
The saddest part? Most of these guys aren't even doing it on purpose. Usually, these behaviors are being used as an ego shield - something to hide their REAL personality (and insecurities) behind.
But does the average woman have any clue that this is what he's up to? Of course not!
She just gets confused, disgruntled, and ultimately - discouraged by his apparent lack of interest, lack of subtlety, or cavalier approach to sexual love.
So how do you get a guy to drop the act and just be his REAL SELF? How do you get him to ditch the fa�ade and get authentic about who he really is - and what he really wants?
How are you supposed to figure him out, if he can't even be straight up about the most basic things??
Fortunately, the power IS in your hands. By including just a few tried-and-true methods in your bag of social tricks, you can set him at ease and get him to relax enough to reveal his truth.
(By 'his truth', I mean his sense of authenticity ... his real personality, who he REALLY is, and what he REALLY wants.)
Incidentally, being your authentic self is an INCREDIBLY attractive characteristic to possess.
But it's not easy - most of us have been brought up to act and behave in a certain way. We've been taught to mask parts of ourselves that others might find unattractive.
When you're able to be your true, honest self, and embrace CLARITY in your personality and life, everything literally just seems to fall into place. Life becomes much easier - and you'll finally start attracting the kind of men who are prepared to love the REAL YOU.
I can point you towards a fantastic course that'll teach you how to attract the right kind of man for you, and make him love you, trust you, and ultimately commit to you
You'll find that course right here:
==> https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=getguywom&id=YourTracking
Let's take a look at the 3 main problem-male personas that women who are active on the dating scene face.
This is the guy who prides himself on his ability to insinuate himself into the pants of just about any woman he chooses.
He thinks that because he knows how to manipulate a woman into liking him, through using certain behaviors and patterns of speech, then he's "successful" with women - and with life in general. After all, he's living every guy's most primal dream: he can sleep with a different gorgeous woman every night of the week if he feels like it. (At least, this is what he tells his friends.)
You might hear this guy being referred to by his mates as a "pick-up artist".
He might have a "wing-man", somebody who he goes out picking up girls with.
This "wing-man" will frequently introduce his player friend in a rehearsed manner that promotes the player's "high value" as a man. For example, "Hey, this is my friend Brad. He dated Miss November. Nice!"
Or, "Check out this picture of Ashley's last girlfriend - how HOT is THAT?" (Cue
carefully-chosen photograph of said player with a beautiful woman in a bikini.)
If the player is skilled, these little "routines" will be done in a way that skilfully, deliberately piques your curiosity. The average woman isn't expecting a man to have the nous to manipulate her so subtly - so she falls for the bait, every time.
The point of these 'player strategies' is to make you think that he's not affected by your own particular brand of beauty or charm ... that you're nothing special, and that, in fact, you'll be lucky to get him.
Through their literature, these PUAs have told him that, in order to get past YOUR "bitch-shield"
that you naturally possess as an attractive woman, he has to demonstrate to you that you are nothing special to him.
Because you're used to being pursued by desperate, supplicating men (as the popular theory goes), this lack of interest will intrigue you, and you'll begin to wonder why he's not chasing after you.
Before you know it, you'll actually be chasing HIM - all because he didn't demonstrate any interest in you at first, and made it clear that plenty of other women are interested in him.
He's manipulated you. Another success for the PUAs.
But not if you're smart!
You can cut through all this crap by not playing along with his silly games. After all, you're not interested in dating a player (that is, a man who's interested in you for the CHALLENGE you present to him, not the woman that you are.) You're interested in dating a real MAN someone who's prepared to prove to you that he's interesting and worthy of your interest, but who is ALSO self-confident enough to require that YOU be interesting to HIM.
If you know a player, and you think he could be worth the effort - as in, he's not just some chump who knows how to seduce females, but a genuinely intelligent, creative man who's just headed in the wrong direction romantically - here's what you can do:
GIVE HIM ONE CHANCE, AND ONE CHANCE ONLY.
The moment a guy starts behaving in ways that you feel might be a trick to "get" you to feel or act a certain way ...
... for example, he might use the "Photo Routine", which is where he shows you a stack of 'holiday pics' interspersed with photos of himself posing with other beautiful women (goal: to get you to feel jealous, and see him as a desirable guy) ...
... or he might try to 'neg' you, which is where he recognizes that you are probably 'higher value'
than him, and attempts to equalize your social status by subtly putting you down verbally (for example, telling you that you've got something in your ear when you don't) ...
Remember that the aim of his "player" behavior is to prove to you that HE is the 'catch' here more than you. He wants to manipulate you into thinking that he's actually doing you a favor by allowing you the opportunity to become interested in him.
Why is he trying to manipulate you like this?
To make it easier for him to hook up with you, of course. He thinks that if YOU think he's a real 'catch', you're not going to shoot him down. End of story.
He doesn't know that he doesn't need to act like this to get your attention.
If you keep cool and don't play into his games by becoming flustered, emotionally wrought, or jealous, then YOU keep the upper hand, YOU intrigue HIM, and YOU WIN.
This is the guy whose primary mission is to make you like him by making you laugh.
This is an admirable goal, and he's got one thing right - laughter is definitely the key to a woman's heart. If he can make you laugh, he's usually worth hanging out with. Kudos to him for figuring this out.
However, this particular humorist is making one huge mistake: he doesn't understand that, to get the girl, you need to couple HUMOR with RESPECT.
When you're dealing with a guy who laughs at himself, invites you to laugh along AT HIM, and uses inappropriate humor like scatology (toilet humor) to get you giggling, he's got a self-esteem issue.
He doesn't understand that you can have a woman in stitches ... but, if she's laughing AT you, all the humor in the world isn't going to unlock her romantic potential.
Guys who make this mistake are usually just really, really nervous. They want to impress you.
They want to make you laugh, and they want you to like them.
Their nerves make them choose the 'easiest'
route to this goal - CLOWNING AROUND.
What you need to do in order to allow his true self to shine through is to build up his self-esteem where you are concerned. You need to make it clear that he's a likable guy WITHOUT the use of inappropriate humor.
The best way to do this is to NOT call direct attention to his lack of humorous finesse (which would just make him MORE nervous) ...
... but to use a simple and highly effective technique known as "positive reinforcement training."
Ironically, this is a strategy that's actually been developed by animal trainers.
I'm not implying that men are like animals but this 'training' method WORKS.
The concept is centered around REWARDING the behavior that you like (with the validation he's searching for - a giggle or a smile) and IGNORING the behavior that you don't like.
So, when he cracks a dumb joke, or tries to make you laugh at something that is not funny, don't force a laugh. Don't frown. Don't ask him why he thinks that's funny.
SIMPLY DO NOT REACT.
This is actually the most effective thing you can do. To this kind of guy, NO attention is much worse than NEGATIVE attention. So by ignoring his unfunny or inappropriate jokes, you're sending a clear message that that kind of behavior is unwanted... and won't help him get to know you better.
When you contrast the coldness of your withdrawal of attention with the pleasure he gets from your laughter reaction when he DOES do something worthy of a positive reaction (like making a genuinely funny joke, not making himself the butt of jokes)... he'll catch on very quickly.
POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT (reward what you like, ignore what you don't like) is what will help him to realize that it's his normal, relaxed, at-ease self that's attractive ... not his tense, jittery, clowning-around self.
Sometimes, it's hard to tell whether a guy genuinely isn't interested - or whether he's simply shy!
If you feel like there's a spark there, but you just can't seem to break past those boundaries, you need to suss out whether it's true indifference or just shyness that's raising the barriers.
The best way to do this is to get the bit between your teeth, and strike up a conversation with him.
Making this effort yourself, instead of waiting and hoping for HIM to do it, makes ALL the difference when it comes to figuring out what's behind his coolness.
If he's just shy, you'll need to give him a few moments to warm up. Have a couple of questions prepared beforehand in case he's a 'listener'
rather than a 'talker' - and make sure they're open-ended questions (ones that can't be answered with a straight yes/no.)
Once you've asked him 3 questions or so, you're engaged in an official conversation - which is a prime opportunity for him to relax and see that his shyness isn't scaring you off, after all.
And if he's not loosening up and his demeanor's not changing? Then that means one thing: simply that he's not interested.
If he's a nice person, he'll still go along with the conversation - but don't be fooled into thinking that 'politeness' equals 'attraction'.
All the conversation in the world won't make a bit of difference if that spark's missing - and trust me, you can tell when it's there and when it's not.
To learn how to cut to the chase and take the gameplaying out of dating, you must take the time to look over Get a Great Guy Guide:
==> https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=getguywom&id=YourTracking
If in doubt, simply remember this basic fact: if he's attracted to you, YOU'LL FEEL IT.
I'll talk to you again soon!
[YOUR NAME]
****** INSIDER'S TIP: Look, I totally get the fact that men are frequently SUPER-CONFUSING to deal with.
They say things they don't mean ... they act in ways that don't make sense ... they act like they're interested when they're not ... they even act like they're NOT interested when they ARE!
It's enough to get ANY woman's head in a muddle.
Take a moment now and imagine how calm and easy life would be if you never had to worry about men EVER AGAIN.
Imagine how powerful and confident you would feel if you ALWAYS knew EXACTLY how to act around men, what to say, how to behave ... and that this behavior ALWAYS resulted in success for you!
Imagine TOTAL CONFIDENCE in your own attractiveness as a woman.
Does this knowledge sound like something worth having to you?
If your answer to this question was 'Yes!', then I've got a fast, easy, and EFFECTIVE answer for YOU: to go here, right now, and check out this course. The kind of knowledge that you'll gain is literally going to transform your life.
Here's what I'm talking about:
==> https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=getguywom&id=YourTracking
Hey, {!firstname_fix}...
Us women are brought up with a really GOAL-ORIENTED approach to life.
We don't sit back and passively let life wash over us - we have our eyes on the prize.
We know what we want, and we're taught to take active steps to get it.
We're told to rely only on ourselves: that if we want something, it's up to US to MAKE IT OURS.
We plan, strategize, and plot out deliberate techniques specifically angled towards quick and effective success.
We have learned to engage fully in our lives and rely on OURSELVES to fulfil our ambitions and desires.
This is an admirable approach to LIFE.
It's NOT an admirable approach to DATING.
When you begin to view DATING in this way ...
... as a series of milestones to be passed and achievements to be accomplished ...
...that's when AAAALLL the fun gets sucked right out of the process.
Remember when you were a teenager and you'd just started out dating? It was an exciting, happy time, wasn't it? You were getting to know all these new people, it was interesting and fun, you were learning things about YOURSELF at the same time ...
... and, best of all, you didn't really have any expectations. You weren't expecting those guys to be your future husband - you were just in it for a good time.
As we grow older, our expectations naturally grow and change. It seems almost inevitable that the older we grow, the more we perceive pressure on us to find and keep a 'good catch.'
It's not FUN anymore.
In fact, it's almost like WORK.
You map out a game plan, put in the hard yards, do what you think you have to do in order to get what you want ... and then you expect RESULTS.
The main problem with this attitude is that, by focusing all your energies on the END-GOAL, you miss out on the beauty and light-hearted, flirtatious fun of the middle part!
That's right - dating can still be FUN (remember fun?) You can still enjoy each and every interaction with a single man that you have, whether it ends up going anywhere or not.
And best of all? This fun-loving, light-hearted outlook is the attitude that's most likely to actually land you the perfect man of your dreams!
(I know ... ironic, isn't it?)
When you think that finding The One is a GOAL that you have to 'get' in order to be happy and fulfilled, then your horizons shrink. You become super-focused and driven: you want results, results, RESULTS!
Like the go-getter that you are, you focus on what you want to get and STRIVE to achieve it.
You work hard at attracting the 'right man'.
You figure out strategies that you can use to 'catch' this dreamboat.
You might even write lists of the features that The One 'must' have in order to qualify for eventual status as your future husband.
This is an EXCELLENT approach to adopt ... in the boardroom, the office, or wherever your place of work might be. But dating should NEVER be the same as work - and, even more importantly, your attitude must reflect this fact!
When you take a 'working' attitude to dating and relationships, all the good times and enjoyment gets boiled right out.
The whole thing turns into a dried-up, joyless, achievement-grubbing MESS - and YOU end up nursing a stress migraine, comfort eating on the couch, and bewailing your lack of success.
You need a wake-up call! It's time to take control of the area of your life dubbed 'relationships and dating' ... and the most effective thing you can do is to adjust your ATTITUDE.
Your attitude is TRULY what defines your success with dating and men. So it's up to you, and you alone, to make sure that your attitude is as ATTRACTIVE and GENERATIVE as possible (meaning that, your attitude is attractive, and therefore it generates success.)
It's time for you to learn how to create AND MAINTAIN the most empowering attitude you'll ever have to dating, relationships, love, and men. This attitude will truly set you free - and, at the same time, it'll take you giant-steps closer towards getting the relationship of your dreams.
The secret? You have to learn to LET IT ALL GO.
You have to learn to stop caring so much about finding 'the right man'!
Once you've released your hold on this goal, and stopped trying to impose your own order and method on the universe, you have SOOOO much more energy to devote towards the things that really count ... like enjoying life.
Like maintaining rewarding relationships.
Like taking care of YOURSELF.
And - surprise, surprise - it's when we're really, authentically absorbed in living the most rewarding, enjoyable life that we can ... and when we're not obsessing over creating RESULTS ... that the perfect guy for us will come along.
And before you go rushing off to use this theory as a new way to 'land' you the 'catch' of your dreams, I've got to stop you right there.
For this approach to work, you've got to embrace it genuinely and honestly.
And that means, learning to engage in your life FOR ITS OWN SAKE, not just as another technique for 'getting' a relationship or a particular man.
It's only when you're really authentic that it will work for you!
Look, I understand TOTALLY that dating can be hard work sometimes. Attending singles dances and parties, asking your married friends to fix you up, networking, mingling at parties ... sometimes, when the field has been fruitless for awhile, it can feel almost like you're trapped on an endlessly-revolving gerbil wheel.
But when women become jaded about the process of looking for love, they attain a certain hard, cynical, almost STONY quality. It's like all the life, laughter, softness, and femininity has been sucked right out of them.
They stop enjoying themselves, and become almost BITTER. They're not hoping for love they're expecting it. And when those expectations are disappointed (as they inevitably will be, with that kind of attitude), those women use this failure as further evidence of the impossibility of finding true love.
Thus, they become even MORE bitter and resentful.
It's a vicious cycle.
Needless to say, this is not an attractive attitude to have.
A woman who's sick of the dating game, who's had her 'expectations' disappointed one too many times, is EASY to spot for most men.
She's the one making cynical jokes about how she would have been better off staying at home watching 'Sex and the City' reruns.
She's the one who has maybe had a few too many drinks 'to get her going.'
She's the one who's lacking that
oh-so-important SPARKLE ... which is the look of a woman who's really enjoying herself, who's having a great time, and whose happiness doesn't depend on whether she gets 'success' or not.
If you feel as though you're sick to death of looking for Mr. Right, then you HAVE to take a moment and rethink your approach.
FACT: Dating is FUN! It's about having a good time, meeting some new people, and establishing yourself with a great network of new friends and new dates.
Those dates might yield a rewarding relationship ... or they might not. And if they don't, that doesn't mean that they were a waste of time.
It's up to you to ask yourself, 'Where is the gift in what just happened to me? What can I learn from it? How can I use this experience to grow?'
When you learn to do this, you will truly learn and develop as a woman - and the experience of dating will achieve a new significance and reward for you, regardless of whether it produces a relationship or not.
I'm sure you know that the men who are really worth being with want the kind of woman who's got herself sorted ... who has her attitude centered around sound values, psychologically and emotionally.
The thing that so many of us forget is that dating about the JOURNEY just as much as it is about the destination. And, ironically, when you're too focused on making something HAPPEN, you're actually reducing your chances of success in that area.
If you're totally driven to 'get a man', then you PROBABLY WON'T GET ONE.
Look, here's how it works.
If you have a full, busy, interesting life of your own, that you ENJOY living ...
... with a life, hobbies, career, interests, and friends of your own ...
... then you don't really NEED a guy to 'complete' you. You're not a needy leech, waiting desperately to be rescued. You're a fulfilled, stable, balanced woman with a GREAT life of her own.
You don't NEED a man - or a relationship - to complete you!
THIS is the attitude that will save you from the hell of the, 'I've GOT to find a man'
attitude. It will save you from the stress and strain of trying to FORCE something to happen whenever you go out on the prowl. And it will enable you to relax, kick back, and have a laugh when you're out socializing and meeting new people.
FACT: When you're really tied up in the outcome of a particular event, it attains an unnatural significance for you. You may not realize it, but your personality and the way you portray yourself to others actually CHANGES in direct proportion to how much you want that thing to happen.
Here's how it works.
If you're out at a party in GOAL-ORIENTED mode, everything about you is angled towards ATTRACTING A MAN. You're self-conscious - and IT SHOWS.
You're tense, agitated, and fizzing with nervous energy - and EVERYONE CAN TELL.
And, even worse, if things don't seem to be going to plan ... like if there are no eligible men present, or you haven't been asked to dance ... your whole night is RUINED.
On the other hand, when the outcome of an event ISN'T of earth-shaking importance for you, you're able to be your REAL self.
THIS is the self that has fun, that ENJOYS herself ... and, coincidentally, it's the self that's MOST ATTRACTIVE to others.
Everyone wants to be around the relaxed girl who's having a great time.
NOBODY wants to be around the woman whose whole being is angled towards success, success, SUCCESS.
Learn to think of dating and relationships as just one more aspect of your full-to-the-brim, energetic, fulfilling life - NOT that life's purpose.
When you do this, you'll notice that 2 incredible things start to happen:
Your relaxed, carefree enjoyment of life is totally irresistible to most people - after all, we ALL want to be around somebody with a genuine zest for life. Your natural effervescence will boost the mood of any man who comes near you - and THAT is authentically irresistible.
So please. For your own sake, as well as the sake of all those men out there who are praying that, one day, they'll find a woman just like you...
... learn to LET GO a little bit. Yield yourself to the rhythm of life. Accept the fact that you don't have to stress, strive, and agonize over your appearance and attractiveness in order to BE attractive.
Accept dating for what it is: a fun, light-hearted part of your life.
Eventually, you WILL find the man of your dreams ...
... So instead of stressing and straining about how to find him, meet him, and attract him, don't you think it's a better idea to LET GO of your worries, ACCEPT that 'what will be, will be', and simply enjoy the ride?
For more tips, check out the Get A Guy Guide course at:
==> https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=getguywom&id=YourTracking
We'll talk again soon!
Your friend,
Mirabelle Summers
>>Hey, {!firstname_fix},
Have you noticed something funny?
A lot of the techniques and strategies for being attractive to MEN are also applicable when it comes to being attractive IN GENERAL.
Once you start applying the tips and techniques for attracting MEN that you'll find in these newsletters and the MYS product library, you'll feel the positive repercussions in all areas of your life: your family, your friends, your job.
When you make BEING ATTRACTIVE a real priority, you begin to have MAGNIFICENT relationships with EVERYONE in your life.
It's not just about the men!
It's an interesting concept, isn't it? Because it leads to the concept that men are ACTUALLY not all that different from everyone else.
What MEN find attractive is often what EVERYONE finds attractive ... and, in fact, is also what will help you to enjoy the kind of success in your life and work that you'd ALSO like to enjoy in your personal romantic relationships.
When you step back and take a look at how successful you feel in the 'attracting men' part of your life, you can use the resulting evaluation as a kind of 'self-calibration barometer' to evaluate how you are behaving in general ... and whether there are any areas of your life that may need to be changed.
For example, if you're pretty successful with men, it's a reasonably safe bet that you're also doing pretty well in OTHER areas that require social skills (such as familial and business relationships.)
But if you're lagging behind with your dating and relationship goals, it could be a 'warning sign' that you might need to work the aspects of your character that handle ALL social interactions ... such as your ease in social situations, your self-confidence, your self-image, and so on.
This is also a KEY strategy for making sure you are authentic and genuine at all times ... because, as I hope you're aware by now, truly authentic women never resort to game-playing, manipulation, or following arbitrary rules in order to attract the man of their dreams into their lives.
TANGENT: Incidentally, not everybody is as scrupulous as you and I. There are plenty of books and resources available which will actively encourage you to manipulate and trick men into feeling what they THINK is 'attraction' for you.
Unfortunately, when you get right down to it, this kind of attraction is nothing more than what a cat feels for the piece of yarn you're dangling in front of it: the instinct to CHASE.
When you resort to trickery and manipulation to attract men, YOU become that piece of string.
You're attractive as long as you're playing the game ... but as soon as you stop, and relax, and become YOURSELF, the attraction just fizzles out.
Being genuine is more important than you probably realize when it comes to forming the kinds of relationships you want, with the MEN that you want.
When you listen to your OWN voice, and your OWN opinions, you're much more likely to attract somebody who is a good 'fit' for YOU into your life.
And if you had the perfect man but let him slip through your fingers... I bet you always wonder "What if..."
If that sounds like you, I urge you to see if that elusive ex still thinks about you (and wants you back): https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=2chwom&id=YourTracking
Of course, that's not to say that you shouldn't be blindly taking advice or following anybody else's opinion as truth....
Instead, I'm saying that you should always run new ideas past your own internal
Opinion-Generating Machine before you ACT on those ideas.
Follow somebody's advice blindly, and you are setting yourself up for pure, unmitigated DISASTER.
Here's a little story to illustrate what I'm talking about. (Incidentally, this story is actually based on the experiences of a client of mine ... but I've changed her name to protect her privacy.)
This woman - we'll call her Sharon - has been seeing her boyfriend for the past 6 months. They are in love, and are committed to one another.
Although they've made no plans to get married or anything of the sort, Sharon's boyfriend has shown her that he loves her many times over in the way that he acts around her, and the things he does for her.
The two of them live together in a small one-bedroom apartment, and are quite happy there.
Sharon's mother and father, however, are not so impressed.
Sharon's mother wants to see her Sharon happily married with a ring on her finger ... and hopefully, with a bun in the oven before too long (if you'll pardon the expression.)
Sharon's father doesn't care too much about the wedding, but he 'knows what men are like' and wants to make sure that this guy is REALLY as committed to Sharon as he says he is.
One day, over Sunday lunch, Sharon's parents sit her down and ask her when she's going to be getting married.
They tell her that a verbal commitment is NOT the same thing as a SHOW of commitment (i.e. a ring), and that, as they have always said, 'actions speak louder than words' ... so when will they be setting a date?
At first, Sharon brushes their questions off.
After all, she and her partner are happily in love, and she knows he wants to be with HER. As far as she is concerned, people are together because they WANT to be, not because they HAVE to be.
But if that's the case (says her mother), if he's so sure he wants to be with her, why DOESN'T he want to get married? Really, he should be thinking about what SHE wants, not just what HE wants ... and Sharon has wanted to get married ever since she was a little girl, 'remember, Sharon?'
Sharon goes home that day in a pensive mood.
Her parents have introduced an element of doubt into her otherwise happy life.
Here's what is going through her mind ...
If he DID want to be with her, SHOULDN'T he care about what she wants enough to ask her to marry him?
Could it be possible that he's NOT, actually, quite sure about her ... and that he might possibly just be biding his time and seeing if anything else comes along?
And that phrase of her mother's keeps ringing in her mind ... "actions speak louder than words" ...
Before you know it, Sharon's sense of security in her own relationship has been compromised.
She is worried and unhappy - and, worse, afraid to talk to her partner about how she truly feels (probably because part of her knows just how ridiculous those fears really are.)
Sharon ends up putting pressure on her partner about his intentions. She didn't MEAN to, but the pressure from her parents began to get to her.
And - as is so often the case in these scenarios - her fears created a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She was afraid that her boyfriend might be 'stringing her along' with no intention of staying around for the long haul ...
So, she began to act paranoid, needy, and insecure, constantly asking for reassurances and proof that he would NOT be leaving her.
This made her partner feel pressured and unhappy ... which led to more insecurity from Sharon ... causing more paranoia and neediness ... causing more unhappiness on his behalf ...
Finally, Sharon's partner couldn't take it any more. The woman he loved was happy, confident, secure Sharon - not this weepy, needy, insecure, demanding woman that she'd morphed into.
He packed up all his stuff, moved out of their apartment, and told Sharon he was ending it.
Here's the REALLY sad part.
If she had listened to her OWN instincts and beliefs about her own relationship, instead of allowing other people's opinions ...
... (opinions motivated by God only knows what mistaken good intentions at best) ...
... to influence the course of her relationship and life, there is a very good chance that she WOULD have been married by now.
At the very least, she and her partner would very likely still be together.
The lesson in this little parable is as follows: if you want to be genuinely successful with men (and, in fact, with life in general), you must learn to create your own 'frames' for your relationships.
Otherwise, your actions will forever be influenced by other people's opinions ... and you'll be far less likely to act appropriately to your own situation.
WHAT IS A FRAME?
A frame is a useful concept that's based in NLP (neuro-linguistic programming.)
A frame is basically a context, or a focus, for your thoughts and actions. It's like a picture frame for your life: just as a picture frame provides boundaries for the image seen within, a frame provides your life with limitations ... and can also open up all sorts of possibilities.
It all depends on the frame that you choose to operate out of.
For example, in Sharon's case, her parents framed her relationship in the context of her partner being a 'typical man' who was probably out to just get what he could from Sharon without taking her needs into account.
They had framed him as a selfish man who was not to be trusted.
Unfortunately for Sharon, her own 'frame' although much more positive than this - was also much WEAKER than her parents' frame. She allowed THEIR frame of her relationship to define and change the parameters of her OWN frame - EVEN THOUGH IT WAS FOR HER OWN RELATIONSHIP!
She allowed her parents to reframe her relationship for her.
THIS is the reason why it ended badly: because Sharon allowed her perceptions, interpretations, and reactions to her relationship to be REFRAMED by somebody else much less qualified than herself to do so.
I really cannot stress this enough: if you want to be successful in life and love, you MUST be capable of framing your OWN relationships and experiences FOR YOURSELF.
What this means, in practical terms, is that you must put more energy into controlling your OWN relationships and your OWN perceptions, BASED ON WHAT YOU KNOW. Yours is the opinion that is the most important, because YOU are the person who knows what is best FOR YOU.
Think of it this way: if Sharon had been a strong, confident woman, who was capable of maintaining her own relationship frame based on HER OWN PERCEPTIONS, she would have been able to comfortably listen to her parents' attempt to negatively reframe her relationship for her ...
thank them for sharing ... and then return to the comfort of her own home ... all without turning a hair.
Look: reframing isn't always a bad thing. It is entirely possible to POSITIVELY reframe an experience, for example, and thus feel better about what could have been seen as a 'bad' thing for you.
But you MUST be capable of comparing everybody else's frames on your experiences to your own PERSONAL opinion and your own PERSONAL frame.
Don't just swallow them hook, line, and sinker - or else you'll never have your own opinion, you'll ALWAYS be at the mercy of other people's frames, and (of course) most people will not perceive you as attractive ... because there is nothing attractive about a weak, unconfident, and insecure woman!
Just remember this: THE PERSON WITH THE MOST CONFIDENCE ALWAYS WINS.
The person with the strongest FRAME always wins.
If Sharon had replied to her parents with a confident, "Yes, and isn't it great that I'm so happy and secure in my relationship that I don't need a ring to feel safe?" ... they would have been, initially, flummoxed ... and then (I'll bet money on it) actually HAPPY for her.
Think about it.
There are so many ways to get the committed relationship you have always dreamed of. Maybe you already had it and didn't know!
If you still have a man you think about, you should watch this short video:
https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=2chwom&id=YourTracking
I'll talk to you again soon ...
Your friend,
Mirabelle Summers
meetysweet.com
Hey,
You know how AGONIZING it is when you have a male friend who you've developed feelings for.
It's not the feelings themselves that cause so much pain ... it's when they're UNREQUITED that it really hurts.
Of course, there are things you can do to try and move the friendship to the next level - but frankly, there is a very high chance of ending up with nothing more than a wounded ego and no more friendship.
If you find yourself tongue-tied when around men you really like, you may want to take a look at:
https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=conchwom&id=YourTracking
It's a difficult one.
But there is a solution ...
It's called, NOT GETTING STUCK AS A FRIEND IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Seriously. If you've got a guy friend you're ALREADY hopelessly in love with, you are going to have to make a choice:
a) Either tell him, directly or through subtle innuendo, how you feel, and risk losing the friendship
OR
b) Cut your losses now, and end the friendship yourself.
Truly, you will most likely NOT be able to continue being 'friends' on any normal and healthy level with someone you are in love with ... what usually happens is that the woman in question becomes more and more miserable, more and more besotted, and more and more insecure ...
... until finally she's TOTALLY fixated on this one guy and loses out on ALL these other opportunities to meet GREAT new men who actually DO want her.
Think about it! What kind of a lesson are you teaching yourself when you "hang in there" in the hopes that this friend of yours will eventually wake up one morning and 'realize' that he's madly in love with you?
You're teaching yourself a subconscious lesson that MEN DON'T FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE...
... and that the way to make men find you attractive is to chase them around and get more and more bogged down in your own head and your own emotions.
Look: he's not going to spontaneously REALIZE that he has feelings for you.
Sorry, but that just doesn't happen.
Well ... allow me to correct myself (slightly.) I am willing to concede that SOMETIMES, and VERY RARELY, this has been known to happen ... but realistically, the chances of this happening to you are almost nil. That's something you're just going to have to accept.
You either need to be straight-up with him about how you feel, or end the friendship and move on, thus freeing yourself up for better things.
(Let's face it: the friendship ACTUALLY ended when you realized you had feelings for him. You can't be real friends with someone you're in love with.) And in fact, you've actually got MORE of a chance of success with this guy happening if you REMOVE yourself from his life for
awhile(especially when the alternative is you hanging around, being super-available all the time and hoping that something happens.)
Let him miss you. See what happens.
In this situation, making yourself less available, more mysterious, and more INDEPENDENT is EXACTLY what you need to do. Familiarity does not breed lust or love with someone who thinks of you as a friend ... but a little distance and a little 'missing you' just MIGHT. (Once again: that's MIGHT.)
But in all honesty, the best cure for this horrible situation is PREVENTION.
And that means that you have to prevent yourself from slipping into a platonic friendship with a man you consider potential boyfriend material (or even husband material) RIGHT FROM THE GET-GO.
Let's talk about some ways for you to do that.
First of all: you need to focus on creating CHEMISTRY.
It's very important that he sees you as a feminine, attractive being from the VERY BEGINNING. This doesn't mean that you have to be perfect or beautiful - it just means that, since you never know when you're going to meet someone you feel that SPARK with, it's important that you are prepared for flirtation and attraction AT ALL TIMES.
Let's be honest for a moment, shall we? Men tend to form their impressions of a woman very quickly. It doesn't take long for them to 'categorize' a new acquaintance as, 'possible lover' or 'just a friend', so you need to be ready to take advantage of the opportunity when it presents itself.
Here's an example of why this is important: My friend (we'll call her Dana, to protect her privacy) was round at another friend - who we'll call Stephanie - 's place the other day.
They had a 'girl's night in' planned, so Dana had deliberately dressed right down. She was wearing loose, sloppy trackpants, Ug boots, no makeup, and her hair wasn't freshly washed.
Basically, she was prepared for a night of eating comfort-food and lying on the couch with Stephanie, dishing the dirt and just chilling out.
But about half an hour into the evening, Stephanie got a knock on the door ...and when she got up to answer it, it was her brother ... and about 3 of his friends. One of whom, coincidentally, happened to be JUST Dana's type smart, professional, witty, interesting, and cute to boot.
Even MORE coincidentally, Dana was single and looking.
But did she take advantage of this unexpected gift dropping right into her lap??
No, she did not. She was so intimidated by how frumpy she was feeling that she just sat quietly on the couch, hugging her knees to her chest, and hardly said a WORD. Not one inkling of her normal sparkling, witty personality came through: as she said later, she felt "at a horrible, underdressed, unattractive disadvantage."
HERE'S THE LESSON IN WHAT HAPPENED TO DANA: Because she was feeling frumpy, she TOTALLY shot herself in the foot and lost an opportunity to make a connection with a real live attractive man right in front of her! Who knows what could have happened if she'd been feeling confident and attractive and had participated fully in the conversation?
The message here is that YOUR CONFIDENCE LEVELS ARE KEY. If you are looking frumpy, chances are you're FEELING frumpy ... and most likely, guys will be able to sense that you're feeling that way, and will not be attracted.
It's not that you need to look beautiful or glamorous. You just need to feel COMFORTABLE enough with your own self and the message you're sending out there to be able to jump at the opportunity when one presents itself.
The world is ripe with unexpected possibilities for meeting people. It pays to take care of yourself at ALL TIMES: not only will you LOOK better (which, frankly, never hurts), but - more importantly - you will be much more able to be your attractive, confident and unique self and have fun in the moment without feeling self-conscious and inhibited.
Tip #2: When you talk to him, don't just TALK.
FLIRT.
Don't be prone to 'magical thinking' and just expect something to miraculously 'happen' when you meet a man you find attractive.
You might be surprised at how many women do this: they find someone who could be relationship material, and decide that if it's 'meant to be', then it will 'just happen'. And as a result, they make very little effort to help matters along ...
and of course, NOTHING ENDS UP HAPPENING.
Here's a little tip for you: you are MUCH more likely to enjoy success with the men of your choosing when you CREATE an atmosphere of FLIRTATION and CHEMISTRY.
This doesn't mean that you have to re-invent yourself as a giggling, simpering minx. Good flirting isn't about SCREAMING sexuality, it's about HINTING at it ... but more than anything else, it's about making the guy feel great about himself.
... and if you ARE interested in learning how to be the kind of mature, attractive, interesting flirt who knocks their socks off, you should check this out: https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=conchwom&id=YourTracking ... but I'll give you a few quick pointers so you always get off on the right foot:
Good flirting is about creating the space for romance to happen. If you want to flirt with a guy, you should bear in mind that it's all about giving him POSITIVE FEEDBACK.
If you want him to seek you out again and again, you want to let him know that you enjoy his company. So: smile. A LOT. Laugh at his jokes.
Make plenty of eye contact. And introduce TOUCH this one's a biggie, as it really emphasizes your femininity and portrays you in a more physical framework. (Use sparingly, though, because it's powerful!)
I'll talk to you again soon!
[YOUR NAME]
The way we behave on the first couple of dates is what sets the tone for the rest of the relationship, whether it's a week long or lasts for a lifetime. It's a microcosm.
This is why the first couple of dates are EVALUATIVE in nature: each person, if they're smart and accustomed to dating efficiently and effectively, is evaluating the other person to see if they're likely to be a good 'fit'.
For many women, this is really confusing. Lots of women don't realize that the first date(s) are evaluative in nature - they think that the evaluation has gone on BEFORE the date even occurs.
They think that if somebody asks them out on a date, they must have already decided that they 'like' her - as if this is a done and dusted conclusion.
This is not the case at all! Yes, a man is INTERESTED if he asks you out on a date, or if he accepts your offer of a date.
But that isn't license to get all excited and start planning your future together - or even to spend (waste?) time daydreaming about how cute he is, how well you'll probably get on together, and what he'll be like in bed.
When you take success for granted ahead of time, you're setting yourself up for a major disappointment. Not just because, IF the date doesn't pan out well, you'll be disappointed (which, after having invested time and effort in daydreaming all these romantic daydreams about him, you will be) ...
... but because counting your chickens before they are hatched is actually a CAUSE of a date going badly.
It all boils down to the EMOTIONAL SIGNIFICANCE that you invest in a particular event, and the pressure that that significance places you under.
For example, let's say you're on a date with a really hunky guy who you're REALLY into. You think he's great - in fact, you're even thinking, "This could be The One!"
And because of the importance that you've invested this date with - the emotional significance that it now has for you, what with this guy potentially being your future husband and all - suddenly, everything is MUCH too important for you to be able to relax.
There's too much at stake. What if you screw up? You'll have ruined a potentially great relationship with this guy, who could even be The One!
What if he doesn't like you? What if you do or say something dumb? What if you RUIN everything??
That is the kind of thinking that your 'mental chatterbox' will subject you to, when you over-invest in an event's significance. The pressure involved causes you to get stressed out, anxious, self-conscious, and jumpy ...
... and it's simply NOT ATTRACTIVE.
If this sounds dreadfully familiar, I can help rescue you from yourself without lowering yourself to games and trickery. If you want genuine men, it takes a genuine approach, which you can find out more about at:
https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=menpullawaywom&id=YourTracking
In addition to all the weird mannerisms that nerves subject you to (like playing with your hair, sitting very stiffly and self-consciously, laughing too hard or nervously, talking fast or not enough), you also become very PREOCCUPIED.
There's another phrase that life-coaches and psychologists use to describe this state of mind.
They call it NOT BEING IN THE MOMENT.
When you're 'not in the moment', you're basically living inside your own head. You're distracted from what's ACTUALLY HAPPENING by the judgments, opinions, and worries that your 'mental chatterbox' is supplying you with.
This quality of living inside your own head is what stops you from being truly attractive.
Instead, you're preoccupied, self-absorbed, and not centered - the three hallmarks of the insecure and needy person. (I'm sure I don't need to tell you that neediness and insecurity are qualities that most people will RUN from.)
Being present, or 'in the moment', is one of the most ATTRACTIVE ways of being that you could ever hope to adopt.
It's all about turfing out all your cares and worries about the past (which you can't change) and the future (which you can't predict), and just relaxing into your life and into the present moment.
Essentially, it's being comfortable in your own skin, and in the way that things are right now.
When you're free from your own pre-formed opinions and needs and desires on a date, you instantly become much calmer and more accepting.
You're able to relax more, and get much more from the man you're on the date with.
You can truly pay attention to HIM, see the world from his point of view, and really participate in the event.
Instant charisma!
You can always tell someone who's truly in the moment because they seem so calm, accepting, centered, and enlivened. They make you feel good to be around. You know that, when they're with you, they really are WITH YOU - not off somewhere in their own little world where you can't follow.
When you think about it, this moment is the only one we ever have. We do not exist in the past, or in the future - only RIGHT NOW, in the 'here and now'.
And it's in this present moment that everything that'll have an impact on your FUTURE 'here and now' takes place - which is part of the reason why being fully present, and not permitting yourself to be distracted by the past OR the future ...
... simply focusing your full attention on whatever it is that you're doing right now, whether it's talking to someone, listening to what they've got to say, eating a meal, doing the dishes ...
... is so important.
And it's very ATTRACTIVE, too. Let's take the example of being on a date to make this perfectly clear to you.
When you're out with a guy, one of the most attractive things you can do is to focus your full, undivided attention on him.
You're not craning your neck around, zoning out and thinking about whether you're double parked, or checking out the waiter. You're not saying, "What?" every two minutes.
You're simply giving him the gift of your total concentration and full attention - just by LISTENING to what he's got to say. Not imposing any values on him.
Not judging him, or comparing what he's said to your own personal agenda, or trying to decide whether you guys are going to be future soul-mates or not.
Not paying attention to the chatterbox inside your head.
Just LISTENING to him, and really participating IN THE MOMENT.
Here's a passage from an interview with Marie Forleo, whose way of talking about the quality of being 'in the moment' I really appreciate.
She tells you that, if you want to try being in the moment when you're out with somebody, you can actually train yourself to exist on that plane.
You can do this by COMPLETELY DROPPING the conversation that's in your mind (your 'mental chatterbox'), and putting your attention on fully hearing what your companion has to say FROM THEIR POINT OF VIEW.
You don't have to agree with it. You don't have to disagree with it. Don't try and figure out if you know where they're going with it. Don't make comments on it. Don't try to finish their sentence for them, or interrupt.
Just practice bringing yourself back to REALLY HEARING what they have to say from their point of view.
This is a really simple exercise to train you in being present in the moment - but it's very effective, it's very efficient, and it's VERY attractive.
There is so much going on inside a man's mind that he's probably not telling you. If you want to know what he's thinking, and why he acts disinterested, distant, and pulls away...
Make sure you know this so he never dumps you and always sees you as the one he can't live without:
https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=menpullawaywom&id=YourTracking
Incidentally, I know this might be a little confusing at first - here I am telling you that the first dates are evaluative in nature, and then in the next breath I'm telling you to put your judgments aside and 'be in the moment'.
Here's a trick for you: YOU CAN DO BOTH.
Before you go on the date, you'll ideally have figured out what it is, essentially, that you're looking for in an ideal man. You've got a fairly clear idea of what it is that you're looking for.
When you're ON the date, you put those desires and judgments-in-waiting to one side, and simply EXIST, devoting your attention to the present moment.
You wait to form opinions of this person and consciously evaluate the date when you can no longer gain more valuable information or input from what happens on the date itself - i.e., when it's OVER.
You can do both!
You might feel at this point like there are a lot of little things to remember, attitudes to implement, and things to do and not to do. That's OK. You don't have to worry about it right now learning a new approach DOES take a bit of effort at first.
But the more you practice doing it, the easier it will become, until being in the moment is no longer something that you have to consciously practice doing - it simply becomes part of who you are.
And when you reach that stage, it's like magic - you really enhance your attractiveness, and (because others can sense your authenticity, and your ability to be comfortable in your own skin, and the fact that you're a judgment-free zone) you form MUCH more meaningful, deep bonds with people.
So to wrap up for today, here's a quick review of the key points we've covered just now: - First dates are evaluative by definition.
Don't waste your time or energy forming opinions of a guy before the date itself. Remember, you don't know him yet.
- Investing too much emotional significance in a date is unattractive. It makes you nervous, jumpy, and self-conscious, and sets you up for disappointment.
- Learn to be in the moment in order to be truly attractive, and to get as much out of your dates as you truly can. Put your judgments to one side and just participate in the moment.
- You can wait until after the date to form opinions. It's not productive OR attractive to form opinions and evaluate while actually on the date. Keep an open mind and put your mental chatterbox to the side.
- Practice being in the moment by dropping your internal conversation (the chatterbox) and bring your attention fully to bear on the person that you are with. Do this until it becomes second nature, and reap the benefits!
Don't forget, if you are really serious about success with men, your first port of call is Why Men Pull Away.
https://www.meetysweet.com?aff=YourIDHere&pg=menpullawaywom&id=YourTracking
Seriously, it will change your life!
I'll talk to you again soon!
Your friend,
Mirabelle Summers
meetysweet.com
